TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (138)... The Sequel!

This week's bonus joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Ars Technica (from Tuesday, October 23; link good at time of posting):

[Timothy Scott] Short stole the Digimarc printer, along with a PC containing names and birthdates, from the [Missouri] Department of Revenue's contract office in St. Charles. Unfortunately for Short, the PC was locked, and he was unable to access anything on it, department director Trish Vincent told IDG. But without the software installed on the PC, the printer was essentially useless.

. . . .

Short . . . broke down and called Digimarc for support—twice—a couple of days later asking whether he would be able to obtain printer drivers. Secret Service Special Agent John Bush told IDG that he recognized Short's voice on the recording from another, unrelated investigation and that the phone number that Short had provided matched up to another identity theft case. Here's another tip for thieves: don't use your regular phone number for all of your crimes. Get a business line or something.

Short was then tracked down a few days later and charged with possession of document-making implements with the intent to use them for fraud. He now faces a $250,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison.

[Previous TGIS]

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (138)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Althouse (from Thursday, October 25; link good at time of posting):

A reporter from Knight Ridder . . . writes a blog post disrespecting an American soldier who had never heard of Knight Ridder . . . and one commenter after another tells him what an insufferable, ungrateful jackass he is.

. . . .

[T]he reporter — Bobby Calvan — left the comments up until nearly 200 nasty — deservedly nasty — comments were posted. Finally, he took down the post, but not before it was preserved . . . . The smackdown in the comments is so satisfying and entertaining that I'm doing my part to make this viral, but I did start to feel a little sorry for the... jackass. Glad I’m Not You said, at comment #82:

I’m so glad I’m 42. When I was young and immature, like you, and I made an ass out of myself it was usually in a room with a Fire Marshal-rated capacity of under 100 people. Even if the place was full and each person told two friends what I did, I was still under the 300 mark of people I needed to avoid for a week. And since memories are short and someone else was bound to make an ass out of themselves in a relatively short amount of time it never really mattered that much. But you, Bobby, have the distinction of making an ass of yourself on the World Wide Web, which is currently accessable by just over 1.2 billion human beings. On top of that, your friends - and apparently rather plentiful enemies - can now copy-cut-paste your idiocy and keep it forever. And ever. And ever.

Bobby, in the year 2065, when you are 80 or so, you will receive an email with this blog post in it. All of it. Each. And. Every. Word.

I’m so glad I’m 42. And not you.

Best of luck with that reporter thing.

[Previous TGIS]

It's bumper-to-bumper traffic on the road to transportation's future.

Here in Northern California, there's certainly no shortage of innovative organizations building the next big thing; while Silicon Valley may get the glory, there's a lot of industrious geekery a valley or two to the east.

During my commute back-and-forth each workday, I pass by Livermore, California, home of the government-funded Sandia National Laboratories. Though there's certainly a lot of weapons-related R&D going on there, a considerable portion of their efforts these days is devoted to other matters. It's nice to see some of that work get a bit of attention from the national press. From this week's Wall Street Journal "Eyes on the Road" column by Joseph B. White:

Sandia National Laboratories in Livermore, Calif., is part of a complex of government funded institutions where, during the Cold War, teams of scientists did heavy thinking about nuclear weaponry and other super secret military technologies. The national laboratories still do a lot of that kind of work. But at Sandia, about 20% of the lab's effort is now focused on a different security issue – how to reduce consumption of oil.

. . . .

Sandia scientists are working on several of the hurdles to hydrogen-powered cars. Storage is a significant problem with hydrogen: in liquid form it must be kept super cold. Another approach is to store the hydrogen in a solid form, bound to a sort of chemical sponge. But refueling such a tank generates enough heat to boil 60 gallons of water, says Robert Carling, director of the physical and engineering sciences center.

Undeterred, Sandia scientists are experimenting with all sorts of tank systems and catalysts in hopes of overcoming these limitations.

"It's not against the laws of nature. We don't know if it's possible," says Lennie Klebanoff, who directs one of the centers researching hydrogen storage using metal hydrides.

In other parts of the Sandia complex, engineers and scientists are studying how to make petroleum-burning engines more efficient. One promising technology is HCCI, or homogenous charge compression ignition. Put simply, this is an engine that burns gasoline without a spark plug and can achieve fuel efficiency that's up to 30% better than a comparable conventional engine.

One more ring and we'd have a blogging circus.

As is increasingly my wont these days, here it is, Thursday already and I'm only just now publishing an appreciation and recommendation of this week's Blawg Review. This week, instead of a one-ring carnival of legal blogging, we're treated to two rings of blogging excellence. David Maister hosts Blawg Review #131 at his Passion, People, and Principles blog; the ever-mysterious and industrious Anonymous Editor of Blawg Review hosts the 211th edition of Carnival of the Capitalists at the Blawg Review website. For the legal folks, Maister focuses on the business of law -- the marketing, leadership, and economics of legal practice. For the business folks, Ed. focuses on the law as it relates to business, including such issues as corporate social responsibility, keyword advertising, and customer loyalty. Grant Griffiths will host next week's Blawg Review at his Home Office Lawyer blog.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (137)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Lancaster New Era (from Wednesday, October 17; link good at time of posting):

How much ransom money would you pay to get your cell phone back from a robber?

Perhaps $50 or $100 — maybe more if the phone were equipped with all the latest features.

But not a whopping $185,000.

Believe it or not, that was the initial amount an alleged purse snatcher told his victim he wanted in return for her cell phone, Lancaster police said.

After a few minutes of negotiating with the victim, the robber lowered his ransom figure dramatically — down to $200.

But the victim, a 29-year-old Philadelphia woman, got her phone back — and her stolen purse — without paying a single cent.

That's because Lancaster police listened to the negotiations and met the alleged robber at a rendezvous point with drawn guns.

The suspect, Randy-Jay Adolphos Jones, 29, of 2565 Ironville Pike, Columbia, was arrested on charges of robbery and indecent assault with his bail set at $100,000, police said.

[Previous TGIS]

Who says you can't update a post about stealing?

Yesterday, I posted concerning the phenomenon, noted by a Forbes columnist, where the well-known band Radiohead made their latest album available online for downloading at any -- or no -- price, yet thousands of copies were downloaded from unauthorized sources nonetheless. Like some others, I saw this as a bad sign for artists who seek alternate forms of distribution for their creative works without losing control of them altogether.

Mike Masnick expertly puts things into perspective, as he so often does, in a post today at the Techdirt site. He writes:

This shouldn't be surprising or even remotely controversial. Of course people are going to download it elsewhere. They do so because it's convenient. If there's one thing that we've seen over and over and over again is that convenience is everything in this market . . . . So, if it's more convenient for people to get the music from other sources, that should be seen as a good thing. That's why media companies have to learn to let go of the control and recognize that there are many, many different ways that people will want to get their content, and they should learn to embrace them all, rather than demanding that everyone does things their way.

. . . .

It appears that [law professor Doug Lichtman, who was quoted by Forbes], like so many others, seems to have ignored the full explanation of Radiohead's business model here. What they make from the digital copies is rather meaningless. They're trying to get the music spread as far and wide as possible, and then are trying to give fans a real reason to still buy the CD by providing many valuable extras. Lichtman claims that this shows it's hard to compete with free -- but I'd actually take the exact opposite lesson. It's easy to compete with free. If you provide convenience, flexibility and focus on selling services or tangible goods that are made more valuable by the free distribution of content, competing with free isn't that hard at all. Radiohead seems to be proving that quite well.

I'll buy that (figuratively speaking). The bottom line appears to be that if you're inclined to download Radiohead's latest from a site other than theirs, you might make Scott Tenorman cry but the band will still be smiling.

For my part, though, there's no site so convenient and no price so low that I would feel compelled to download a Radiohead album. That notwithstanding, if the In Rainbows experiment gets me the next albums from Oasis and The Charlatans for nothing I can honestly say that I'm a much bigger Radiohead fan now than I've ever been before.

Who says you can't steal what's already free?

When opponents of the recording industry and operators of several music downloading sites argued that people would not be so inclined to steal music if it were made available online in a form they wanted at a reasonable price, I thought that seemed like a reasonable proposition. The success of Apple's iTunes store and similar sites seemed to support the argument -- good quality digital songs were selling in astonishing numbers at prices between $0.79 and $1.29 or so even though those same songs were likely available at no charge on any number of unauthorized sites. Even I, a person who hadn't bought a record in several years, bought a considerable number of iTunes tracks simply because it was easy and relatively inexpensive to do so.

Considering all that, one might think that if a popular band were to release an album online and charge nothing for it, people would have no reason to "steal" it by getting the music through unauthorized channels. One might think that, and one would, it seems, be wrong. Via Slashdot, Forbes columnist Andy Greenberg reports that for many listeners of Radiohead's new In Rainbows album, the preferred price is less than zero:

Piracy, it seems, is about more than price.

That's one of the surprising discoveries to come out of an experiment by the British band Radiohead last week. On Thursday, the group made its latest album, In Rainbows, available for direct downloading from the Web at an unusual price: whatever fans feel like paying. Downloaders who want to pay nothing can enter "zero" in the site's price field and download the album for free.

But for hard-core music pirates, even free hasn’t been enough of a draw. According to music industry analysts, hundreds of thousands of Web users who frequent copyright-infringing file-sharing sites, including The Pirate Bay and TorrentSpy, have chosen to download In Rainbows illegally, distributing their contraband around the Internet just as they might with any other pirated album.

. . . .

[F]or Doug Lichtman, an intellectual property professor at the UCLA School of Law, the volume of piracy following In Rainbows' release erodes the success of Radiohead's innovation. "If the community rejects even forward-thinking experiments like this one, real harm is done to the next generation of experimentation and change," he says.

Lichtman speculates that users may have interpreted Radiohead's offer as a giveaway and so felt more comfortable downloading the album from other free sources. Fans may also have been turned off by the band's requirement that users register by providing their name and e-mail and postal addresses.

The ultimate lesson may simply be that it's hard to compete with free, Lichtman says. "Registration is a small barrier," he says. "Sadly, even that little bit of cost might too much."

The Eighth Circuit makes the real world safe for fantasy leaguers.

For the last two-and-a-half years, I've followed Major League Baseball's and the MLB Players' Association's misguided legal crusade to "own" baseball statistics and to require licensing fees for their use in fantasy/rotisserie baseball leagues (see here, here, here, and here). I'm happy to note that, in all likelihood (barring a grant of certiorari and reversal by the Supreme Court), Mighty Casey has struck out. From Howard Wasserman of the Sports Law Blog:

The court held that, although the players enjoyed a state-law right of publicity in their names and other personal information, their publicity rights were trumped by CBC's First Amendment right to use this information. The court balanced the substantial public interest and value in this information against the relatively weak right of publicity in play. CBC's use of the information does not interfere with the players' economic interests, their ability to earn a living from their names or their performances, which is the interest at the heart of the right of publicity; that weakened publicity interest must give way to free speech rights.

At the Concurring Opinions blog, Neil Richards, who was involved with the legal team supporting the fantasy league operators, had this to say:

I think the case was straightforward from a First Amendment point of view, but the really interesting implication of the case is what it will mean for the massive (and profitable) fantasy sports industry . . . . Today's holding seems to stand for the proposition that baseball cannot "own" the historical facts of its games (just as famous people can't own the facts of their biographies), and it protects fantasy sports companies to continue to offer games that are not merely "official" licensed products controlled by the major sports leagues. It's also a much-needed strike against the rise of unnecessary intellectual property licensing . . . .

Until they invent a new hemisphere, Blawg Review has you covered.

It's a definite first for Blawg Review -- this week's Blawg Review #130 is split into two parts, with Geoff Sharp hosting the Southern Hemisphere Edition at his mediator blah... blah... blog and Diane Levin hosting the Northern Hemisphere Edition at her Online Guide to Mediation blog. One might think that this novel concept would result in a case of split Blawg Review personality, but it seems that with two mediators on board, a harmonious result is assured.

If you're wondering whether the success of this Northern Hemisphere/South Hemisphere Blawg Review means an Eastern Hemisphere/Western Hemisphere edition is in the works for next year, the answer is probably no. As those well-groomed young go-getters of 'Hooray for Everything!' established some time ago, the Western Hemisphere is the greatest hemisphere on Earth and the dancingest hemisphere of all; we at Blawg Review have no interest in rehashing that long-settled issue.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (136)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Wednesday, October 10; link good at time of posting):

Talk about a wrong turn. Three teens suspected of burglarizing vehicles were arrested after they attempted to elude a police car by turning into a police station.

An area resident reported the break-ins about 3 a.m. Monday and gave police a description of the teens and their car.

Officers spotted the car - and it appeared the driver noticed the officers, police spokesman Joel DeSpain said. He turned right, apparently in an attempt to avoid the squad car.

"They turned right into the East District Station, " DeSpain said. "Then we arrested them. "

[Previous TGIS]

Form Follows Function

Raymond Ward posted recently on a topic that's near and dear to my Grinch-sized heart -- legal document forms. Personally, I think that to treat form documents and templates as either necessary evils or perils to be avoided is misguided; such forms and templates are necessities and opportunities to be embraced.

Notwithstanding, there are two great truths in this area: First, if you borrow documents wholly or substantially from another attorney, you must recognize that while such documents may or may not be the right fit for that other attorney's client, they are almost certainly not the right fit as-is for yours. Second, a document which "fits", whether you drafted it yourself or modified it from someone else's preexisting document, will not fit you well indefinitely.

Over the last couple of years, Ward has backed away from his earlier suggestion that you "burn your form file"; citing a post from Roy Jacobsen, he suggests that an expiration date on each form might be a better approach. Jacobsen writes:

Boilerplate is a great time-saver, and it helps ensure that you include all of the elements that you need in a document.

. . . .

There’s a problem with boilerplate, though. All to often, it just gets passed along from year to year, and nobody asks whether it’s written well, whether it conveys the message well, or even whether it conveys the right message to begin with.

. . . .

Go ahead and use boilerplate. Take the time to write it well, and it will serve you well. But put an expiration date on all of your boilerplate. When it reaches that date, stop using it. Take a long hard look at it and ask yourself if it needs cleaning up or revising. And maybe you’ll decide that you should toss it in the dustbin and start fresh.

What an expiration date really is is a prompt to reevaluate your wardrobe of document templates to make sure that each one is still in style and still fits. Just as you don't want your parachute pants from the 80s or your jeans from three waist sizes back cluttering your closet, you don't want your document forms to address a need your client no longer has or to address a current need in obsolete terms.

Offering such sage advice, perhaps it's high time for Ward and Jacobsen to start regularly hosting a legal documents version of What Not to Wear!

This could come back to burn me.

Last Friday was fire safety day at my daughter's elementary school. At a party over the weekend, she and a playmate thought they'd act out a few lessons learned. They did a few iterations of "stop, drop, and roll" and then dashed out of their playhouse with a play telephone.

"Ring, ring," they yelled, looking at me.

"Hello?"

"9-1-1! We need help!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is 9-1-2.

[Silence]

"Did you need something?"

"Our house is on fire."

"Ah. Well, I can't help you there. Maybe you should call 9-1-1. Do you know what their number is?"

I suppose a good father would have passed-up the opportunity to tease small children and would have instead reinforced the valuable lessons taught by our local firemen. It's truly unfortunate that there were no good fathers nearby at the time.

À Votre Santé

David Harlow hosts Blawg Review #129 this week at his HealthBlawg site. He starts off with a SCHIP on his shoulder, continues by reviewing a high-tech lynching, and concludes by dropping the Hammer on an inter-museum rivalry with intellectual property ramifications. Diane Levin of the Online Guide to Mediation blog and Geoff Sharp of the mediator blah... blah... blahg, er, blog co-host Blawg Review next week.

Now THAT'S a Judicial Smackdown!

From time to time in the legal blogosphere, we talk about a "judicial smackdown" occurring when an appellate court chastises a lower court or a court at any level lays into a party or attorney in a particularly entertaining fashion. I can't recall seeing any instances, however, where a lower court judge has actually been ordered back to law school. This Indian case seems to be one for the record books:

New Delhi's High Court justices, annoyed with lower court judges who issue problematic rulings, have decided to send one of them back to law school.

In an order issued late Friday, Judge R. K. Tiwari was told to return for a three-month refresher course after issuing an arrest warrant in defiance of a previous High Court ruling.

"Since Tiwari does not have even elementary knowledge of the criminal law and procedure it would be appropriate that he undergoes a refresher course at Delhi Judicial Academy," Justice V. B. Gupta wrote.

Ouch.

Since graduating law school, I've had a recurring dream now and again wherein I'm sent back to school to atone for some egregious professional misstep. It seems that Judge Tiwari is truly living the dream.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (135)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Thursday, October 4; link good at time of posting):

Mooning a police officer was community activist Steven Lee Myrick's undoing. Myrick, 41, was convicted by a jury Tuesday of raping a Hawthorne woman during a burglary seven years ago.

The crime was unsolved until he exposed his bare buttocks years later and a DNA sample collected by officers linked him to the rape.

Jurors deliberated less than a day before finding Myrick guilty of residential burglary and two counts of rape.

He faces multiple life terms when sentenced Nov. 5 because jurors found true special allegations that a gun was used, the burglary was gang-related and the rape occurred during a burglary while the victim was tied up, Los Angeles Deputy District Attorney Jodi Link said.

[Previous TGIS]

Blawg Review is Gaelic... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Blawg Review #128, hosted by Daithí Mac Síthigh at the Lex Ferenda blog, is an excellent collection of the past week's best legal blogging. With this issue, Mac Síthigh also becomes doubly-noteworthy as being both the first Ireland-based host of Blawg Review and having (I think) the most-accented name of any Blawg Review host to date (at least until I change my name to Cölïn Sämüëls in a fit of Motörhead- and Mötley Crüe-inspired madness). Highlights of this edition include tips on keeping your blog out of court, a review of social networking in law firms, and a Shakespearean take on net netrality in Europe. HealthBlawg will have its finger on the pulse of the legal blogging community next week.