TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (121)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Tuesday, June 26; link good at time of posting):

Bill Barnes says he was scratching off a losing $2 lottery ticket inside a gas station when he felt a hand slip into his front-left pants pocket, where he had $300 in cash.

He immediately grabbed the person's wrist with his left hand and started throwing punches with his right, landing six or seven blows before a store manager intervened.

"I guess he thought I was an easy mark," Barnes, 72, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Tuesday.

He's anything but an easy mark: Barnes served in the Marines, was an accomplished Golden Gloves boxer and retired after 20 years as an iron worker.

Jesse Daniel Rae, the 27-year-old Newaygo County man accused of trying to pick Barnes' pocket, was arraigned Monday in Rockford District Court on one count of unarmed robbery, a 15-year felony.

. . . .

Barnes said he'd probably do the same thing again under the same circumstances, if for no other reason than what he would face back home.

"I wouldn't want my wife to give me hell for lettin' that guy get my money," he said with a smile.

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Unbearable Lightness of Boeing

From the Wired Science blog, comes this factoid about the forthcoming and by all accounts amazing Boeing 787 Dreamliner:

Boeing's strategy with the 787 has been to make a light, efficient, smaller-scale jet to appeal to carriers concerned about costs. So among the other innovations, the company is making the wings out of carbon-fiber composite instead of metal. No one's ever really tried that before, so testing is critical. Here's the June 25 Aviation Week and Space Technology on that subject:

Boeing has completed static testing of a three-quarter wingbox, but engineers are still considering whether to limit testing of the full wing to a 150% load limit held for 3 sec. of to continue bending it to see when it breaks. "There's a raging debate within the engineering team to see if we should break it or not," says [787 General Manager Mike] Bair.

Breaking it isn't necessary for certification, but Bair says the wing is so strong and flexible that there's been talk that maybe it could be bend far enough for the wingtips to touch above the fuselage—or come quite close.

That's a tremendous technical achievement, certainly. Notwithstanding, if I'm ever on one of these marvels and I see that happening outside my window, the first thought I have will not be "Wow, those carbon-fiber composite wings are incredibly resilient and demonstrate amazing load-bearing capacities as compared with older, less efficient metal aircraft wings."

By the numbers, it's six names, two people, and one worthwhile Blawg Review.

Stephanie West Allen of the idealawg blog and Julie Fleming-Brown of the Life at the Bar blog have collaborated to produce a link-rich Blawg Review #114. Invoking fond memories of the flavors of sangria and watermelon to start summer off right, the many highlights of this edition of the carnival of legal blogging include the ins-and-outs of the zeroth draft, assigning blame for the business misadventures of the fourth-best hair band of all time, and the revelation that links from Blawg Review can play hell with your Google rankings.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (120)... The Sequel!

This week's bonus joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Tuesday, June 19; link good at time of posting):

A would-be German thief went from predator to victim when he tried to mug a taxi driver but ended up having his own wallet snatched instead.

After the 20-year-old stole the driver's wallet, a scuffle broke out between the two, in which the cabbie not only recovered his property but also took his attacker's wallet, police in the western town of Aldenhoven said Tuesday.

The driver then locked himself in his taxi and called the police, who were amazed to find the mugger waiting patiently for them on the curb next to the vehicle when they arrived.

"He wanted his wallet back," a police spokesman said.

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TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (120)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of The Register (from Wednesday, June 20; link good at time of posting):

A Kent man who got his manhood trapped in a padlock "after a sex game went wrong" had to be cut free by firemen, The Sun reports.

The unnamed victim, in his 50s, intially presented the coupling of padlock and pecker at his local fire station. They packed him off to hospital, but since docs "could do nothing", he was forced to return to seek expert help. Firemen eventually released the chap's wedding tackle using hydraulic cutters.

Using the key was evidently not an option, since the key hole had inexplicably been sealed with superglue. Accordingly, it took two-and-a-half hours to end his "eye-watering ordeal" . . . .

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TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (119)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Thursday, June 14; link good at time of posting):

A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.

The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.

Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.

He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.

Justice Rhys Morgan said Cranley "cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person.

"That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place until you get the counseling you need."

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The law is no laughing matter...

...except when it is, and when that occurs, there's no shortage of legal blogs there to highlight it. Now, over at her Legal Antics blog, Nicole Black is soliciting nominations for the funniest legal blogs. Amongst others, I nominated Anonymous Lawyer, even though he probably nominated himself several times already.

Why This Day Should Be Celebrated in Argentina

On the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Argentine surrender in the Falklands War, Volokh Conspiracy blogger Ilya Somin makes an excellent observation about the relative importance of the British victory to today's Argentina:

Argentina probably benefited from defeat even more than Britain did from victory. The war was initiated by the repressive Argentine military dictatorship in part to shore up flagging popular support for the military junta. In the short run, the gambit worked. Even most left-wing Argentines cheered when the junta's forces captured the islands on April 2, 1982. But, contrary to Argentine expectations, the British did not take the invasion lying down, but instead sent a task force that eventually recaptured the Islands. The defeat discredited the military government even among its supporters, and led to its collapse a year later. The restoration of civilian rule in 1983 ended one of the most repressive periods in Argentine history, and led to the trial and conviction of several of the junta's members for human rights violations.

Had Argentina won the war, the military government would have gotten a new lease on life. The resulting harm would surely have outweighed any meager benefit that ordinary Argentineans could have derived from possessing a few small islands with little economic value.

Headline of the Day

LoveHoney in toothbrush vibrator trademark rumpus

Doing Justia to Blawg Review

Tim Stanley produced an admirable Blawg Review #112 this week at the Legal SEO & Marketing Blog hosted by Justia.com, and no, I'm not cutting him extra slack because he's a fellow pug owner (compare and contrast here and here). Highlights of #112 include a poor attempt to rate lawyers, privacy on the streets and in Google Street View, and the dos and don't of contract drafting.

The Wisdom of Ichiro

Ichiro has long been admired by Seattle Mariners fans for his penetrating insights into the nature of modern reality. Recently, Ichiro discussed the importance of place and the role of self-censorship and morality in a society driven by celebrity culture:

To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying.

While it's true that Russell, Heidegger, and Sartre were more widely-appreciated as philosophers, when one considers the facts that none of them could hit for beans, I think the title of "greatest philosopher of the last 100 years" rightly belongs in Seattle (or wherever Ichiro ends up in free agency).

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (118)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Best of the Web Today (from Monday, June 4; links good at time of posting):

Might've Come in Handy

• "Demands for a ban on 'un-Islamic' activities in schools will be set out by the Muslim Council of Britain today. Targets include playground games, swimming lessons, school plays, parents' evenings and even vaccinations."--Daily Express (London), Feb. 21
• "Afghanistan's Defense Ministry says some 60 Taliban fighters were drowned when their boat sank as they were attempting to cross the Helmand River."--Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, June 3

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Fenêtres Vista

When Microsoft announced the name of their new operating system, Windows Vista, I and others wondered how the company would untie the knots of preexisting trademarks for "Vista", including a couple owned by a windows company and one of Microsoft's own partners. Being an Ugly American, I did not even consider at the time the morass which awaited Microsoft in the realm of international trademarks.

My high school French is just a bit rusty, but I believe that "Vista" is actually a French word; it translates roughly as "for people who've not yet bought a Mac". It makes sense, then, that the French would have something to say about Microsoft claiming "Vista" as its own:

French television presenter Philippe Gildas has sued Microsoft for "violation of intellectual property," accusing the software publisher of illegally using the trademark "Vista."

Gildas registered the name Microsoft chose for its latest operating system in October 2003 -- two years before Microsoft registered its trademark with the French National Institute for Intellectual Property (INPI).

He had registered the trademark for a new television channel aimed at senior citizens, Télé Vista, which was to have launched in 2003. The project was delayed, but is now coming to fruition, with plans to launch the channel later this year. Gildas sees Microsoft's hogging of the limelight with its new operating system as an obstacle to that launch, and so he decided to sue, arguing that he registered the trademark "in all entertainment and media categories: press, television, Web and so on."

That this challenge comes from France could cut both ways for Microsoft. On the une main, no one really cares if you steal from the French; on the autre main, once the French decide to fight you, everyone knows that they'll never surrender.

Personally, I think Microsoft should avoid the controversy altogether and simply market what's known (and much beloved!) as "Windows Vista" elsewhere in the world as "Windows Vichy" in France. That's just my €0.0148207, though.

Who knew Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy could fly?

From the Boston Globe:

Shortly before landing, Bob Hayden and a flight attendant had agreed on a signal: When she waved the plastic handcuffs, he would discreetly leave his seat and restrain an unruly passenger who had frightened some of the 150 people on board a Minneapolis-to-Boston flight Saturday night with erratic behavior.

Hayden, a 65-year-old former police commander, had enlisted a gray-haired gentleman sitting next to him to assist. The man turned out to be a former US Marine.

"I had looked around the plane for help, and all the younger guys had averted their eyes. When I asked the guy next to me if he was up to it, all he said was, 'Retired captain. USMC.' I said, 'You'll do,' " Hayden recalled. "So, basically, a couple of grandfathers took care of the situation."

The incident on Northwest Airlines Flight 720 ended peacefully, but not before Hayden, a former Boston police deputy superintendent and former Lawrence police chief, and the retired Marine had handcuffed one man and stood guard over another until the plane touched down safely at Logan International Airport around 7:50 p.m.

. . . .

Hayden's wife of 42 years, Katie, who was also on the flight, was less impressed. Even as her husband struggled with the agitated passenger, she barely looked up from "The Richest Man in Babylon," the book she was reading.

"The woman sitting in front of us was very upset and asked me how I could just sit there reading," Katie Hayden said. "Bob's been shot at. He's been stabbed. He's taken knives away. He knows how to handle those situations. I figured he would go up there and step on somebody's neck, and that would be the end of it. I knew how that situation would end. I didn't know how the book would end."

Not to ruin the ending for you, Mrs. Hayden, but the Assyrian butler did it.

Actually, it seems that The Richest Man in Babylon is some sort of personal finance self-help book. An enthralling one, apparently. I'm not a big reader of self-help books -- I prefer to let others help me -- but I think I'd go for a book which had "go up there and step on somebody's neck" amongst its advice.

Blawg, blawg, blawg, blawg, blawg, blawg, blawg, blawg, blawggety blawg, blawggety blawg!

Bill Gratsch hosts the 111th edition of Blawg Review at his Blawg's Blog blog at blawg.com and takes us "from there, to here, to where?" as he surveys the past, present, and future of legal blogging. Highlights include clients who are jerks, blogging the Landis hearing, and a dead litigant who killed a pending Supreme Court case.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (117)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Maccabi Tel Aviv's Kobi Mossa (via With Leather) (from Tuesday, May 29; links good at time of posting):

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