08 August 2005

Mea Culpa

A frequent correspondent has suggested that I may have offended a number of individuals with today's various rants; she has further inquired whether I am in a bad mood or whether I am just a giant a-hole. As her two options are not mutually-exclusive and I am, in fact, capable of multi-tasking, the correct answer is "both". On my way home, however, during my XM wanderings, I chanced across a tune by the Japanese pop duo PuffyAmiYumi; I didn't understand a single word, but I'm just so gosh-darned happy now that I feel the need to make amends. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to the following people whom I may have unintentionally offended today:
  • Fans of Japanese Monster Movies
  • Handicapped Persons
  • Athletic Homosexuals
  • Victims and Survivors of Nuclear Bombings
  • Competitive Chess Players
  • Deceased Members of the Japanese Parliament
  • The Homeless
I intended to offend, and remain unapologetic for any offense taken by, the following persons today:
  • Diego Maradona
  • The French
  • Members of the 2004 United States Men's Olympic Basketball Team
I had intended to offend the following persons today, but have inexcusably failed to do so:
  • Environmental Activists
  • DaVinci Code Conspirists
  • Living Members of the Japanese Parliament
  • French-Canadians
Have a nice day.

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