23 August 2006

Forget Snakes on a Plane; Raccoons in Olympia Is This Summer's Horror Blockbuster

"Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia" scream the headlines as a desperate community waits in fear:
A fierce group of raccoons has killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog and bitten at least one pet owner who had to get rabies shots, residents of Olympia say.

Some have taken to carrying pepper spray to ward off the masked marauders and the woman who was bitten now carries an iron pipe when she goes outside at night.

"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."

. . . .

"We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," [Olympia resident Tony Benjamins] said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts."

. . . .

Meanwhile, residents have hired Tom Brown, a nuisance wildlife control operator from Rochester, Washington, to set traps, but in six weeks he has caught only one raccoon. He and Carrell said raccoons teach their young - and each other - to avoid traps.

Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.

"They are in command up there," he said.

Great. Now, in addition to hand lotion and cold beverages, those TSA bastards will probably confiscate my raccoons at the airport security gates.

In response to the numerous attacks, the article quotes a state wildlife department official as saying, "It's something were going to have to monitor." It looks like this is one more crisis where our government will fail us. George Bush doesn't care about urban pet owners!

At least Spike Lee will have a sequel for his latest film: "When the Raccoons Attacked: A Requiem in Four Acts".

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