Let's see... placenta conversions, cat conflagrations, and class clowns. Cool. Old Kingsfield will never even know that I didn't prepare for his class.
What's that, Professor? Why of course I did the reading, sir; I'm ashamed that you'd even suspect otherwise. I was just distracted for a moment by these capitalists over here.
Case of who versus what?
Let's see... the, um, defendant was accused of -- oh, right, this being a contracts case, I did mean "respondent" -- er, he allegedly failed to perform.... Excuse me, sir? He admitted his nonperformance? Well then, ipso facto, my point is that, um....
Do I have anything at all meaningful to contribute?
Well, uh, there was this guy on death row in Texas last week who committed suicide; his case was noted by both Ron Coleman and Scott Henson, but I don't think anyone in this class has mentioned it yet. The facts? Well, according to one report:
A Texas death row inmate killed himself on Thursday, leaving a message scrawled in his own blood, hours before he was to be executed for a 1995 murder, a Texas prison spokeswoman said.
Michael Johnson, 29, was found dead at 2:45 a.m. lying in a pool of blood after he used a makeshift metal blade to cut his jugular vein and an artery in his right arm....
They say that he wrote in capital letters, "I DIDN'T DO IT." What's that? Just like my class preparation? Ha, ha, good one, sir.
Coleman? Um, he said that it was pretty understandable that, guilty or innocent, someone facing an imminent execution would want to take control of his own destiny like this. He said that he didn't think Johnson's act "was honorable, meritorious or brave. In fact, it's a sin. But it is understandable."
Henson's thoughts? He focused on the decedent's suicide message and, uh, said that:
If true, this was an almost unfathomable tragedy. Johnson was scheduled to die at 6 a.m. this morning. He was 29 years old.
Another man, David Vest, originally confessed to the 1995 killing but later testified against Johnson in exchange for a lighter sentence. Johnson always contended the snitch was the real shooter. Mr. Vest has completed his 8-year prison sentence and is now free.
Sir? Yes, I did just read what he wrote word-for-word. Well, thank you! I think you have a lovely speaking voice also.
Come down to the front of the class? Um, OK.
You're giving me a dime? I'm not sure I understand, sir.
I should use it to call the Blawg Review Editor and explain that there is little chance of me becoming a legal blogger? Thank you, Professor, but I think Ed. already knows.