Conservative Commentators' Aid Society

As the president decamps for Belgium this coming week, I for one am concerned about the capacities of various conservative bloggers, columnists, and commentators to cope. The Belgians' reactions to Mr. Bush's mission, messages, and mere presence will almost certainly be uniformly negative, albeit exceptionally polite at the elevated levels within which the president will travel. Will our conservative pundits have adequate bandwidth both to cogently analyze the short-term and long-term effects of this important diplomatic mission and to devise sufficiently vitriolic terms for the Belgians? Let's not reinvent the wheel here! Instead, draw from (and hopefully build upon) the prior, masterful work done by Monty Python in their "Prejudice" sketch:

Well now, the result of last week's competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs. Hatred of Leicester said, "Let's not call them anything; let's iust ignore them!" And a Mr. St. John . . . said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than "Belgians." But in the end we settled on three choices:

Number three: "The Sprouts" sent in by Mrs. Vicious of Hastings. Very nice!

Number two: "The Phlegms" from Mrs. Child Molester . . . .

But the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs. No Supper for You from Norwood in Lancashire: "Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards!"

From Monty Python's Flying Circus, Episode 37, January 4, 1973.