I'm returned from a brief vacation. Did you miss me? The remainder of the clan will be back this weekend; meanwhile, the pug and I are living the bachelor life. I'm eating Rice-a-Roni and he's watching me eat Rice-a-Roni. Good times had by all.
As I left work this evening, I mentioned that, "My wife is still out of town, so I'm leaving early to feed the pug."
I'm not sure what it says about me as a person that I felt the need to go back and explain that that was not a euphemism for anything.