On the Road (Sans Kerouac but with Blawg Review)

The thirty-fourth edition of Blawg Review is available at the always-excellent (and award-winning) PHOSITA blog. Despite overdosing on Thanksgiving turkey and pumpkin pie, the fine folks at PHOSITA have produced an outstanding issue.

Next week, however, Blawg Review's 34-weeks-long streak of blawging excellence comes to a crashing end as I return from our family vacation in lovely Mendocino, California to host the thirty-fifth issue of Blawg Review here at Infamy or Praise. Do what you can to ameliorate the damage I will cause to the hard-earned reputation of Blawg Review by reviewing the submission guidelines and recommending the best legal blogging you find during the coming week.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (41)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Tuesday, November 22; link good at time of posting):

Police accidentally hit a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him, authorities said.

Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, tried to run away when sheriff's deputies approached so one of them shot their Taser, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood. But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, Chitwood said.

"The Taser is relatively accurate, but when someone is moving like that, it doesn't matter if you have a Taser, or a pistol. (Officers) can't aim," Chitwood said.

Miljour was treated at a hospital before being taken to the Lee County jail. He was charged with indecent exposure, resisting an officer and criminal damage.

[Previous TGIS]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .

. . . it was the age of being sent first-class to an amusement park, it was the age of being killed for Thanksgiving dinner. For a turkey, regardless how it ends up, its entire existence is probably an age of foolishness, an epoch of incredulity, and a season of darkness.

Today's tale of two turkeys gives us a glimpse of both ends of the Thanksgiving turkey existence spectrum: Turkey Carton is killed and frozen to become someone's Thanksgiving dinner but ends up not even making it that far -- instead, it gets thrown through a window into a burning car. Meanwhile, Turkeys Darnay and Manette get to meet the President and then travel first-class across the country to spend the holidays at Disneyland.

I'm a bit jealous of the latter turkeys; flying first class to Disneyland is a far, far better thing than I have ever done. Still, even the former's fate is a far, far better rest than I have ever known.

The Washington Post has More Leaks than a Secondhand Diaper

"Schadenfreude" is too generic -- there should be a special term for joy in the misery of members of the mainstream media. Besides, around here at least, generic schadenfreude generally waits until Friday. With the holidays fast approaching, however, I'm anticipating an avalanche of others' misery to be joyful about. Thus, a few days early perhaps, I'll pass along the following from yesterday's Best of the Web Today column from James Taranto:

The Washington Post's Bob Woodward is back in the news, having given testimony to special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, whose investigation into the Valerie Plame kerfuffle is nearing the end of its second year.

. . . .

MediaBistro.com has an absolutely hilarious report that quotes extensively from "internal message boards" where Woodward's Post colleagues are either beating up on or defending Woodward. But what interests us isn't the internal bickering over Woodward; it is this post from Jonathan Yardley:

The comment of mine two paragraphs above has been leaked, presumably by someone in the newsroom, to the New York Times. Katharine Seelye called me an hour ago pressing for further comment. I declined, stressing that this is a confidential internal critique written solely for the news staff of TWP and refusing to authorize her to quote from it. She called back half an hour later to say that her editor had told her to go ahead and quote from the comment anyway. I told her I expected her to make plain that this is a confidential internal document and that she is quoting from it over the objections of the person who wrote it. She said she would. We'll see.

I hardly see any point in having critiques and comments if they are to be publicized outside the paper. How can we write candidly when candor merely invites violations of confidentiality? Many readers say they distrust us. Well, now I find myself wondering if we can trust each other.

Seelye did indeed call the post "confidential" and note that "Mr. Yardley objected strenuously to its being made public." But of course journalists quote from confidential internal documents all the time. Why should this be any different?

Well, presumably because Yardley expected that other journalists would afford him professional courtesy on the ground that respecting a news organization's internal confidentiality serves the higher goal of furthering the public's right to know.

Just the Right Amount of Lawyered

The thirty-third edition of Blawg Review is hosted this morning by the Overlawyered blog. Regardless your views on the state of the American legal system or the litigious society which spawned it, Overlawyered will make you cringe on a regular basis. Walter Olson and his compatriots remind us all -- usually by counterexample -- that common sense is the foundation of justice, and this week's issue of Blawg Review offers common and uncommon sense in abundance. Next week's edition will be hosted at the PHOSITA blog. In the meantime, review the submission guidelines and offer up the best legal blogging you can find this week; the deadline for next Monday's issue is this coming Saturday.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (40)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Thursday, November 17; link good at time of posting):

A senior member of the Hungarian Communist Workers' Party has received a one-year suspended sentence for wearing a red star, the communist symbol which is banned under Hungarian law.

State news agency MTI said Attila Vajna, who is deputy chairman of the fringe party, was sentenced by the Municipal Court in Budapest Wednesday for wearing the star at a demonstration two years ago.

Sporting communist or Nazi symbols is forbidden in Hungary. The red star was banned after Hungary threw off communism in 1989.

[Previous TGIS]

Type I and Type II: Not Just for Diabetes Anymore!

At his May It Please the Court blog, J. Craig Williams provides a concise overview of Type I and Type II indemnity clauses as well as an excellent discussion of the "Type III" clause at issue in the just-decided California case McCrary Construction Company v. Metal Deck Specialists, Inc.

If these two crazy kids can't make it, then no one can

From the Associated Press:

A woman said she still plans to marry the man who shot her in the groin and then held her hostage in his family's garage for six days.

Tina Marie Stebbins revealed her intentions in a letter released Monday as her boyfriend, Christian Leroy Lindblad, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for shooting her in June 2002.

"I love Christian today as deeply as I loved him before this awful thing happened to us," Stebbins wrote in a victim impact statement. "We are soul mates."

. . . .

The incident occurred at the Big Bear City [California] home the couple shared with Lindblad's parents. Lindblad and Stebbins had a history of domestic violence and substance abuse, according to a sentencing report. It also said Lindblad had been drinking at the time of the shooting.

Lindblad and his parents, Robert and Shirley Lindblad, tried to cover up the shooting by treating Stebbins with home remedies, according to a San Bernardino County Sheriff's report. They also threatened her young sons and her family, the report said.

Stebbins wrote that, "I pray that Christian has forgiven me for failing him when he needed me most." Sadly, her letter doesn't clarify whether her failure was that her gunshot wounds didn't respond to home remedies ("Sorry I'm a bleeder!") or that she was shot in the first place ("Sorry I'm not bulletproof!"). Regardless, if her fiancé hasn't yet forgiven her, perhaps she should reconsider the whole marriage thing. Or perhaps not; he seems like a keeper.

Professor Bainbridge's Life is More Fabulous Than Mine

Ah, there but for the grace of good taste go I.

Professor Bainbridge and his dogs were on their own this past weekend when his wife went out of town for a few days and it seems that his dogs ate better than I did the last time my wife was gone for a few days. Let's compare:

Night One

Bainbridge: lamb rib chops, risotto with porcini mushrooms and white truffle paste, and a small baby arugula salad

Bainbridge's dogs: leftovers from lamb rib chops, risotto with porcini mushrooms and white truffle paste, and a small baby arugula salad

Samuels: large pepperoni pizza

Samuels' dog: scoop of dry dog food

Night Two

Bainbridge: 12 oz. seasoned filet mignon split and filled with blue cheese, topped with sauce combining Le Saucier vin rouge sauce, Vatel veal demi-glace, and tawny port

Bainbridge's dogs: leftovers from 12 oz. seasoned filet mignon split and filled with blue cheese, topped with sauce combining Le Saucier vin rouge sauce, Vatel veal demi-glace, and tawny port

Samuels: four microwaved spicy beef and bean burritos, topped with enchilada sauce

Samuels' dog: scoop of dry dog food

Night Three

Bainbridge: veal marsala and risotto with morel mushrooms

Bainbridge's dogs: leftovers from veal marsala and risotto with morel mushrooms

Samuels: Samuels' dog

Samuels' dog: N/A

I'm not complaining, mind you; I don't envy the professor his opulent lifestyle, but I do miss my dog sometimes.

Thirty-Two Short Blawgs About Samuel Alito

This morning brings the thirty-second edition of Blawg Review, hosted by the JAG Central blog. The military justice system has always seemed something of an enigma to the civilian world; there is something familiar about it, yet it is undeniably different than what we know in our own lives. JAG Central has offered a bit of perspective and insight into the military's legal practices at a time when the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the activities associated with the war on terror, and the detention of prisoners in Iraq and Cuba have brought issues heretofore of concern principally to the military to our collective attention. This week's issue of Blawg Review underscores the vast common ground amongst attorneys and legal scholars in the military and civilian worlds. Next week's edition should be just as illuminating, as the watchdog blog Overlawyered does the hosting honors. Review the submission guidelines and watch for the best in legal blogging; the deadline for next Monday's issue is this coming Saturday.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (39)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Tuesday, November 8; link good at time of posting):

They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of an elderly home in southern Sweden had to deal with both when a pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

The moose - a cow and her calf - had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, southern Sweden, said Anna Karlsson, who works there.

Police managed to scare them off once, but the large mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.

[Previous TGIS]

Contracts Make the World Go 'Round (or "Boom")

Behind every great arms transaction, there's a great contract. Slate's "Explainer" column tackles the Venezuelan F-16 kerfuffle in the news this past week by examining the Department of Defense's foreign arms sales practices:

When you buy weapons from the United States, do you get a service contract?

In most cases, yes. The sale of fighter jets can be negotiated in one of two ways: Either the buyer country works out a deal with a U.S. contractor (with State Department and Pentagon approval), or it goes through the Pentagon's Foreign Military Sales program. Contractors provide warranties and technical support as they would for any sale.

. . . .

To make sure their F-16s don't end up in a museum, buyer countries typically get several years' worth of spare parts with their purchase. (Subsequent spare-parts contracts are negotiated as needed.) They can also buy into long-term maintenance contracts, which include "repair and return" programs for any equipment that wears out. The standard contract provided by the Pentagon promises to "repair or replace at no extra cost" any items that are initially damaged or defective, but it does not ensure their continued function—long-term warranties for specific weapons cost extra.

An FMS contract often includes surcharges for packing, shipping, and handling that can amount to around 20 percent of the purchase price. If you go through the FMS system, you'll also have to pay a 2.5 percent administrative surcharge to the government. The Pentagon accepts payment—in U.S. dollars only—via check or wire transfer. Checks should be made out to the "U.S. Treasury" with an identifying note: "Payment from Government of [country] for [FMS code]."

What's more, if there's a dispute between the parties, you can literally bring out the big guns to resolve it. Lawyers and Litigation are dandy, but Marines and laser-guided smart bombs are so much more persuasive.

Darn

From the Associated Press: Cat survives traffic, 70-foot fall, 600-foot swim

Sugar and Spice

Early last week, the wife and I promised to take our four-years-old daughter to see the new Disney merchandising vehicle, Chicken Little. By Sunday, as we approached the appointed hour for our excursion, she had whipped herself into a frenzy. To make matters even less bearable for her, we'd elected to see the special 3-D version of the film, which was showing in a multiplex two dozen miles away.

At long last we arrived at the shopping center wherein is located the giant candy store which happens to show movies. Sundays at mid-day, the shopping center is packed to the gills with shoppers, movie-goers, brunch-inhalers, and their compatriots in consumerism. This being California, it goes without saying that none of these people walked to the shops or arrived by public transportation.

After a slow ride up a packed parking lot row, our daughter was on her last nerve. After a slow ride down another packed parking lot row, she had chewed through her seat belt. Midway up the third packed row, the wife and I heard an anguished cry from the back seat:

"OH, CRAP! THERE ARE NO EMPTY SPACES!"

And now this precious moment is available for proud digital age grandparents to forward to all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a child's fury can turn him into KFC at twenty paces.

Yet Another Phrase I Never Expected to Read

From The Register: Asteroid hunters honour gay Bulgarian gypsy singer

Blawgskin-Reviewins 31 Flavors

Andrew Raff hosts the thirty-first edition of Blawg Review at his IPTAblog. It's an Alito-heavy week and this issue is excellent as always. That excellence is no accident, mind you; the editorial team does an outstanding job guiding the carnival and, with the exception of the upcoming December 5th edition, the weekly hosts are anything but weakly. You readers do you part as well -- well, most of you anyhow. Every week, I advise you to review the submission guidelines and recommend the best legal blogging you see in the coming week; some of you are just not paying attention. In the immortal words of every gym teacher who ever lived, "Let's get with the program, people!" The deadline for next Monday's issue, to be hosted at JAG Central, is this coming Saturday evening.

No Experience Necessary

Perhaps I was exposed to one too many kitten-in-a-tree "Hang in there, baby" posters during my grade school years in the 1970s, but I'm not today one of those people who responds well to overtly motivational messages; the Demotivators® from Despair.com are better-suited to my temperament. Nevertheless, every so often I come across a factoid which I feel the need to mentally file away for future inspiration.

The excellent ContractsProf Blog noted the anniversary of the completion of Michelangelo's painting of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel (although a few sources, including both Wikipedia and About.com, dispute the Profs' referenced date and indicate that their anniversary is of the start of the painting, rather than its completion). What I had not known about Michelangelo's work, long noted as one of the greatest achievements of the Renaissance, was that it was "the sculptor's first attempt at painting frescoes".

When presented with opportunities to work beyond their comfort zones and demonstrated areas of expertise, talented people can produce masterpieces.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (38)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Friday, November 4; link good at time of posting):

Kenneth Slaby is suing his ex-girlfriend -- for gluing his you-know-what to his stomach.

The Pittsburgh man also charges that Gail O'Toole glued his butt cheeks together and wrote something nasty on his back with nail polish.

Slaby's lawyer told a Pennsylvania jury the glue incident was payback for a nasty breakup five years ago.

The attorney says Slaby had to walk a mile to a gas station to call for help. O'Toole's attorney counters the glue play was consensual and should have been left in the bedroom not the courtroom.

[Previous TGIS]