29 December 2006

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (95)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Wednesday, December 27; link good at time of posting):
A 21-year-old German woman who did not feel like going to work at a fast food restaurant sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped.

Police in the Bavarian town of Straubing said Wednesday they had launched a massive search throughout the region for the woman who disappeared on December 23 but turned up unscathed the following morning, saying the kidnapper had set her free.

A spokesman said the woman was questioned over the Christmas holiday and admitted she made up the story because she owed a colleague 25 euros ($32.9) and did not have the money to pay her debt. She now faces a fine of up to 1,000 euros.

[Previous TGIS]

25 December 2006

Break Out the Rye Bread and Mustard, Grandma!

The Blawg Review Awards are out and I'm pleased to note that Infamy or Praise has been honored once again, this time with a nod to Blawg Review #86 as Blawg Review of the Year 2006. I'll strive to continue my winning streak by completing the Dante-themed Blawg Review cycle with a Paradiso edition sometime this coming year; after then, winning might be a bit more difficult when I start my 23-parts-long series based upon the works of Og, a little-known neanderthal poet.

Thanks to the Anonymous Editor for the kind recognition. Merry Christmas to all and to all good blawging!

Out of Office (5)

18 December 2006

Turn Your Head and Blawg

David Harlow hosts the eighty-eighth edition of Blawg Review at HeathBlawg. This edition is a beautifully-organized one in which posts from many of the legal blogging world's luminaries are interspersed with notes about and quotations from corresponding musical luminaries. Highlights of this week's issue include rearranging Medicare's priorities, contemplating Holocaust revisionism, and putting "juniority" ahead of "seniority". Not included but definitely worthwhile reading is a post of Dan Hull's suggestions for the coming year, including "set aside a 'required' day where everyone must smoke, smoke heavily, and smoke Camel non-filters" and "Refuse to be a Dweeb".

Next Monday, the 2006 Blawg Review Awards will be presented at the Blawg Review site. Last year, I was honored to receive the Blawg Review of the Year award for Blawg Review #35. If the Anonymous Editor received that subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club I sent, perhaps I'll be a repeat recipient this time around.

15 December 2006

Me Talk Good

Your Vocabulary Score: A+

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.

Cringe-Inducing Headline of the Day

"High-Speed Colonoscopies"

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (94)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of blogger Urban Infidel (from Sunday, December 10; link good at time of posting):

We crashed Lynne Stewart's 'GLOAT PARTY' last night at the Judson Memorial Church downtown across from Washington Square Park. It was a rousing affair to say the least and it came as a complete surprise to the Lynne Stewart folks who were throwing her a celebration called 'Ode to Joy and Struggle' thanking everyone for their support over the 4 years during her trial and also to 'unite for the struggle ahead'. 'Struggle' they say? As in 'Mein Kampf' maybe? As in 'jihad' too perhaps..?

The protesters where harassed and called 'Nazis', of course and the KKK over and over and told to 'shut up and to back to Long Island and Westchester' by a moonbat waving the Hitler salute. At moments it seemed like a horror movie or freak show.

[Previous TGIS]

14 December 2006

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Whether you're a nostalgic product liability attorney or a fallen elf trying to recall when things all went so wrong, Radar magazine's "Pray for Coal" list of the ten most dangerous playthings of all time shouldn't be missed. Lawn darts topped the list, of course, but there are some real gems further down. Consider the U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, which contained actual radioactive material, or the Johnny Reb Cannon, which fired hard projectiles as far as 35 feet (actual sales slogan: "We'll all be gay when Johnny comes marching home!").

Kofi Klatch Kontinued

The editorialists at the Wall Street Journal (no subscription required) elaborated today on a point I touched on in my gripe yesterday:
[T]hanks to U.S. military action that Mr. Annan did everything in his power to prevent--we learned that he had presided over the greatest bribery scheme in history, known as Oil for Food. We learned that Benon Sevan, Mr. Annan's trusted confidant in charge of administering the program, had himself been a beneficiary of Iraqi kickbacks to the tune of $160,000. We learned that Mr. Annan's chief of staff, Iqbal Riza, had ordered potentially incriminating documents to be destroyed. We learned that Mr. Annan and his deputy, Louise Frechette, were both aware of the kickback scheme but failed to report it to the Security Council, as their fiduciary duties required. However, we haven't yet learned whether the senior Annan illegally helped his son Kojo obtain a discounted Mercedes, an issue on which the Secretary General has stonewalled reporters.

Earlier this year, Mr. Annan was also forced to place eight senior U.N. procurement officials on leave pending investigations on bribery and other charges. Vladimir Kuznetsov, the head of the U.N. budget-oversight committee, was indicted this year on money-laundering charges. Alexander Yakovlev, another procurement official, pled guilty to skimming nearly $1 million off U.N. contracts. The U.N.'s own office of Internal Oversight found that U.N. peacekeeping operations had mismanaged some $300 million in expenditures.

Mr. Annan's response to all this has been a model of blame-shifting, obfuscation and patently insincere mea culpas, apparently justified by his view that a Secretary General has more important things to do than administer his own organization.

13 December 2006

Annanymous Ghost Writers

I can't decide whether I prefer Claudia Rosett's rewriting of Kofi Annan's farewell (and good riddance!) address or Iowahawk's; either is preferable to the speech he actually gave.

Unlike Annan, both Rosett and Iowahawk remembered to mention the outgoing Secretary-General's major accomplishments, notably the multibillion-dollar Oil-for-Food scandal and the numerous smaller frauds and conflicts-of-interest perpetrated by his son, Kojo Annan, by his closest aides and advisors, and by Annan himself.

12 December 2006

What If

Heather Hurlburt of the Democracy Arsenal blog offers a thought-provoking list of eight events that could change everything.

Some -- like the death of Fidel Castro -- seem more likely to occur than others -- like the fall of the Saudi government or the liquidation of one of the "Big Three" automakers. Notwithstanding, all seem like distinct possibilities.

Keeping these "what if" scenarios in the back of one's mind will certainly make the daily news a bit more vivid as the coming months unfold.

11 December 2006

Kissing Gregg Easterbrook

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of Gregg Easterbrook's Tuesday Morning Quarterback columns (see here, here, and here).

Notwithstanding, the not-so-polite parody of TMQ at the Kissing Suzy Kolber sports blog is one of the funnier things I've seen recently. My favorite bits:
'Tis Better to Have Rushed And Lost, Then Never to Have Rushed at All: The Bears led 7-0 with 14:59 left to go in the first quarter. Run out the clock from here and victory is the most likely outcome. Instead, it was pass, pass, pass, pass, run, pass, run, run, pass, pass, pass, run, pass, pass, run, run, run, halftime, pass, pass, run, run, run, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, run, two minute warning, pass, pass. Wait, what happened?
and
I'm So Classy, I Say Cognomen Instead of Nicknames: Reader Frank Johnson of Greenwich, CT, writes, "TMQ, you are so smart. I wish I could be smart like you. But I'm not. I want to hang myself. Anyway, in an attempt to sound as erudite as you, I propose nicknaming the Denver Broncos the Denver Kimchiwannawannnadingdongs, which is ancient Mandarin for 'horses that run'. I'd also like you to use this nickname at all times so that readers won't know what team you're talking about." Mr. Data, make it so!

A More-Literate-Than-Usual Blawg Review

Finally springing us all from a week in Purgatory is Hanna Hasl-Kelchner of the Legal Literacy blog, who hosts the eighty-seventh edition of Blawg Review. Highlights this week include workaholic attorneys, firing the same employees twice, and Wii-related injuries.

One topic which didn't make this issue was addressed last week by Professor Jennifer Collins of Concurring Opinions and by Professor Ann Althouse. An essay in the New York Times noted that, thanks to modern DNA selection and in vitro fertilization techniques, prospective parents with disabilities are able to select embryos with markers for the same disabilities to maximize the chances that their children will share their handicaps. Collins asked, "
Should doctors go along with such requests from fertility patients?" In my view, Galen had the answer to that question 1800 years before the rise of advance reproductive technologies; he wrote, "first, do no harm" (Latin: "primum non nocere"). Professor Frank Pasquale had a more thoughtful response (than mine, not Galen's) in a comment to Collins' post:
[O]ne of the normative guideposts I take seriously in contemplating the ethics of reproduction is the Jonas-ian principle of "openness to the unbidden" . . . . And I think that, to the extent that we might want to invoke this principle to avoid eugenics, we should also be willing to apply it to limit parental autonomy in cases like this.

Next week, David Harlow will host Blawg Review #88 at HealthBlawg.

08 December 2006

The Road to Purgation

Thank you to the following sites and individuals who publicized the Purgatorio-themed Blawg Review #86 this week (presented in alphabetical order):

Thank you also to all who contributed to, commented on, and read Blawg Review #86 this week. It may not have been Heaven, but at least it wasn't Hell.

Pigs in Space

In Slate, Gregg Easterbrook ably demolishes the explanations offered for the boondoggle that is the proposed NASA moon base. The project is all about politics and pork, of course, as is much of our current space program:
So, what is it for? Transparently, the true goal of the moon base would be to keep budget lines and contracts flowing to the congressional districts and aerospace contractors wired in to current NASA spending.

. . . .

For 20 years now, NASA has gone through one iteration after another of supposed "dramatic" self-reevaluations, and always come to the same conclusion: All existing spending programs having to do with the astronaut corps are sacrosanct, regardless of whether they serve any purpose. With public-good space needs unmet and the enunciation of a moon-base plan that will waste colossal sums of public money, agency director Michael Griffin has simply raised NASA's middle finger to the taxpayer.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (93) . . . The Sequel!

This week's bonus joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Friday, December 8; link good at time of posting):
Paula Barstow's singing Santa stopped singing after holiday vandals pulled out his power cord and ran over his head.

. . . .

Barstow said Santa was in his usual spot on her driveway Tuesday night. She awoke Wednesday and found him mowed down.

"They had to come all the way in and just run him over, back and forth," said Barstow, who cried as she described the damage.

Santa "was a neat old guy," she said. He also waved and shouted "Merry Christmas."

[Previous TGIS]

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (93)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Tuesday, December 5; link good at time of posting):
An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said.

[Previous TGIS]

07 December 2006

My, how the (New York) Times have changed!

In honor of Pearl Harbor Day, The New York Times reprinted excerpts of a series of lengthy articles its correspondent in Pearl Harbor filed in the months following the attack. These dispatches detail the monumental effort to rebuild the Pacific Fleet after its decimation by the Japanese on December 7, 1941. The full articles are available online in .pdf format and make for fascinating reading.

The bylines on the articles note that these were "Passed by naval censor"; despite that preliminary official approval, the introduction relates that "wartime censorship killed the articles".

In the current wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the Times has repeatedly published or sought to publish information which damages our efforts, most notably last June when it disclosed details of a classified intelligence program which analyzed the financial transactions of people suspected of ties to al Qaeda. The paper acknowledged that the program was legal and effective and that its decision to publish would hinder the government's efforts in the War on Terror. It's open to honest debate whether the reporters and leaders of the Times sought to damage our nation's interests during a time of war or merely disregarded those interests in favor of its own.

These New York Times articles are not just an interesting glimpse at a significant but overlooked part of our efforts during the early years of World War II. Considering its current practices, these articles are also a memorial to a time long past when, during wartime, the Times specifically and the American press more generally were on our side rather than our enemies'.

WagnerWatch

A couple of times over the past few months (see here and here), I've highlighted the continuing saga of Bryan Wagner, a hapless peon caught up in the Hewlett-Packard corporate spying scandal and indicted therefor by California Attorney General Bill Lockyer.

As the Wall Street Journal (subscription required) reports, HP has agreed to pay a $14.5 million fine and to revise its ethics and compliance practices in order to settle the charges it faces. While it ties things up nicely for the corporation, the settlement does nothing for the HP executives and other individuals indicted.

Thus, unless Wagner has $14.5 million in his mattress, he's still on track to fulfill my prediction that he will "end up doing more time than both of the indicted HP bigwigs combined".

06 December 2006

On the web, smartassery lives forever.

Today, nearly a year after I made a smartass remark on Pearl Harbor Day, that post is getting a load of hits. It seems that throwaway is now the top result in a Google query for "pearl harbor day trivia". Oops.

While I'm not apologizing for it, I want to state for the record that that was a botched post. It was meant as a criticism of President Roosevelt, who owes us an apology for getting us involved in World War II.

I support the troops.

05 December 2006

Personally, I admire their persistence.

In Washington, Pete Costello and his mother have been indicted for fraudulently claiming Social Security disability benefits. When he was eight years old, Costello's mother falsely claimed that he was mentally retarded and began collecting disability payments on his behalf; now, after maintaining the charade for nearly twenty years and collecting $110,000 in benefits, Costello has proven that maybe he really is retarded -- by blowing the entire scheme to contest a traffic citation:
In meetings with Social Security officials and psychologists, he appeared mentally retarded and unable to communicate. His mother insisted he couldn't read or write, shower, take care of himself or drive a car.

But now prosecutors say it was all a huge fraud, and they have video of Costello contesting a traffic ticket to prove it.

. . . .

[Assistant U.S. Attorney Norman] Barbosa filed with the court two videos of Pete Costello taken this year: In one, he allegedly feigns retardation during an interview with Social Security workers; the other is of him contesting the traffic ticket in a courtroom earlier this year.

The indictment accuses Costello of faking — or at least exaggerating — retardation since August 1997, because that is what prosecutors are confident they can prove, Barbosa said. But the pair first received benefits 10 years before that.

. . . .

Pete Costello sat in court Tuesday and said nothing. Instead of living with his mother, he works as an auto-body repairman and lives with a girlfriend and two of her children, prosecutors said.

"Obviously his mother did get him involved in this ... but he's been an adult for many years," Barbosa said.

Court documents indicate prosecutors believe his mother, 46, pulled the same trick with a daughter, whom officials have been unable to locate. All told, she raked in $222,000 on their behalf, according to the documents.

It wasn't all bad for Costello, though. His traffic citation was deferred.

Sure, when I retire there will be nothing left of Social Security, due in some small part to upstanding citizens like these. Notwithstanding, the great laugh I had this afternoon after reading this story will make all of the payroll deductions I'll see for the next few decades seem worthwhile. Thanks, Pete.

04 December 2006

Miller v. Bollywood

In its landmark Miller v. California decision, the Supreme Court defined a three-pronged test for determining when expressive material may be deemed "obscene" and thus unprotected by the First Amendment. The first of those three prongs is the determination whether, applying contemporary community standards, the work as a whole appeals to the prurient interest.

[Incidentally, I've always thought that "Three-Pronged Test" would make an outstanding title for a film testing the practical application of the Miller decision, but I digress.]

Fortunately for the producers of any American films more risqué than Lady and the Tramp, American community standards, even around the buckle of the Bible Belt, are somewhat more permissive than in India. For Bogart and Bergman in Casablanca, a kiss is still a kiss; for Roshan and Rai in Bollywood, it's a lawsuit:
A kissing scene from a movie starring Bollywood actors Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan has irked a lawyer who has filed a criminal case against them, accusing them of obscenity, he said on Sunday.

Shailendra Dwivedi of Indore, near Bhopal, the capital of central Madhya Pradesh state, said the scene from the movie, titled "Dhoom 2," lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to youth.

"Bollywood actors are conveying vulgarity in the society," Dwivedi told Reuters. "These films cannot be watched with our families, they are so vulgar at times."

A local court accepted Dwivedi's petition to punish the actors and said it would hear the petitioner on December 11.

Blawg Review #86

Since I hosted the Inferno-themed Blawg Review #35 last December, I've looked forward to making another journey through the legal blogosphere, accompanied by Dante and his guide, the poet Virgil. Thus, Dante's The Divine Comedy provides the setting for Blawg Review #86, to which I welcome you.



Purgatorio, the second cantica of Dante's masterwork, begins with Dante and Virgil ascending "from the atmosphere of deadly gloom" in the nine circles of Hell to the base of a mountain. This mountain represents Purgatory, the place wherein those souls neither condemned to Hell nor raised to Heaven may be purified of their sins so that they might enter Heaven.

Like the underworld in Inferno, Dante's Purgatory is a vividly-described and meticulously-detailed place. The mountain is divided into seven terraced levels, each of which corresponds to one of the Seven Deadly Sins. At each of these terraces, sinners face a circumstance particularly suited to their sin; unlike the punishments Dante witnessed in Hell, however, the object in Purgatory is to reform rather than to punish, to transform each of the seven sins into its corresponding virtue so that that soul may ascend, terrace-by-terrace, toward salvation. Like high school football and first-year Federal Civil Procedure, Purgatory is based upon the concept of "no pain, no gain".

Analogous to the "suburb of Hell" in Inferno populated by those "[w]ho lived withouten infamy or praise", there is an ante-Purgatory. Here reside those who were excommunicated, those who were negligent of their salvation and waited until just before their deaths to repent their sins, and those who died violently. Beyond the ante-Purgatory is a "Valley of Rulers"; awaiting an opportunity to begin the ascent of the mountain are King Henry III of England and other monarchs and national leaders for whom the demands of high office were a distraction from spiritual betterment or otherwise diminished their virtues.

One resident is Cato the Younger, the legendarily-incorruptible Roman statesman. It was for his sterling reputation that Cato's name was adopted by the American Colonial authors of the widely-read and influential Cato's Letters collection of essays, which offered persuasive arguments for broader civil and religious liberty. From the Cato's Letters essays, and thus indirectly from Cato the Younger, comes the name of the Cato Institute, a libertarian research organization which supports the work of several prominent legal bloggers, including Randy Barnett, Tyler Cowen, David Kopel, and David Post at the Volokh Conspiracy blog.

Having passed through these spiritual staging areas, Dante reaches the gate of Purgatory. He prostrates himself at the feet of an angel who sits upon a diamond throne. (And to think that you were satisfied with your Herman Miller Aeron chair!) With his sword, the angel makes seven marks upon Dante's forehead and explains to him that these marks will be removed as he completes his journey through the seven terraces of Purgatory. The angel then produces a pair of keys:
One was of gold, and the other was of silver;
First with the white, and after with the yellow,
Plied he the door, so that I was content.

"Whenever faileth either of these keys
So that it turn not rightly in the lock,"
He said to us, "this entrance doth not open.

More precious one is, but the other needs
More art and intellect ere it unlock,
For it is that which doth the knot unloose.

From Peter I have them; and he bade me err
Rather in opening than in keeping shut,
If people but fall down before my feet."

Then pushed the portals of the sacred door,
Exclaiming: "Enter; but I give you warning
That forth returns whoever looks behind."
And so we begin again . . . .



Terrace I: Pride

The first terrace of the mountain of Purgatory contains the souls of the prideful, who are burdened with stones which purge them of their arrogance.

Several bloggers can take justifiable pride in their accomplishments this past week, including David Maister of the Passion, People and Principles blog, who landed a podcast interview with BusinessWeek Executive Editor John Byrne.

Ken Adams, whose AdamsDrafting blog quickly found a place on my blogroll, announced that starting early next year he will write a column in the New York Law Journal on a bi-monthly basis.

A new book by Professor Eric Muller of the Is That Legal? blog, tentatively-titled Presumed Traitors: The Hunt for Japanese American Disloyalty in World War II, was accepted for publication by the Board of Governors of the University of North Carolina Press.



Terrace II: Envy

In Purgatory's second terrace, the eyes of the Envious are sewn shut with iron thread, to blind them to the temptations around them and aid them in their reformation.

Shertaugh, guest-blogging at Is That Legal?, noticed a hint of green in St. Louis Cardinals star Albert Pujols' complexion:
. . . Pujols, runner-up to Ryan Howard in the NL MVP vote, says only players whose teams make the playoffs should be MVP candidates.

While Pujols voices a voting practice to which some members of the Baseball Writers Association of America subscribe, he does overlook this iddy, biddy fact:
Ryan Howard's Philadelphia Phillies won more games than Pujols' Cardinals.
It's not Howard's fault -- as the voters recognized -- that Pujols and the Cardinals were in the worst division in baseball.

Reid Trautz of Reid My Blog! gave us a list of things we'll envy others having in the coming year in his 2006 Holiday Gift Guide for Lawyers.



Terrace III: Wrath

The third terrace contains the souls of those whose wrathful natures blinded their judgment in life; the Wrathful exist in an environment filled with blinding, acrid smoke.

Stephanie WestAllen of the idealawg blog noted the havoc caused by wrathful "law firm dragons":
I have found that dragons are typically acting from: 1) fear about their own adequacy, public image or ability to control, 2) power entrancement, or 3) ignorant insensitivity. Regardless of the cause, their long tails can cut a painful swath and their wings can create a damaging gale.
For those of you who toil in dragon-infested firms, WestAllen also offered some useful tips for the care and feeding of those dragons.

Actor (and, it seems, not stand-up comedian) Michael Richards recently displayed a bit more wrath on stage than he did during his Seinfeld days; despite his subsequent apology on David Letterman's program, he'll atone for that wrath in the Third Terrace this week. Professor Spencer Overton of the blackprof.com blog wrote that Richards' apology was important and honest:
Rather than using Richards as a cheap target for our frustration about race, Americans should to use this episode to confront our personal assumptions honestly and question phenomena that many of us accept as normal--such as persisting hypersegregation and the educational achievement gap.

Ernie Svenson of the Ernie the Attorney blog asked a hypothetical legal question: "can Richards be held liable to the two men that he initially berated?" Attorney Gloria Allred's daughter, CourtTV blogger Lisa Bloom, noted that, very soon, that question might not be so hypothetical.

Jen Burke of the Transcending Gender blog related the tale of a group of wrathful employees and their abused former co-worker; that former co-worker filed suit and has now prevailed.

Carolyn Elefant of the Law.com Legal Blog Watch site pointed out a case which demonstrated that Hell hath no fury like a paralegal overworked. The Law Society of Upper Canada (LSUC) hopes that a paralegal regulated won't be as wrathful. David Giacalone of the shlep blog reported that the LSUC has been empowered to regulate the paralegal profession in Ontario:
The Ontario Bar is, apparently, quite pleased with its new role as regulator of legal services provided by paralegals . . . . However, it’s difficult for consumer advocates who have watched the regulatory style of lawyers (and most other professions), and the Bar’s broad dislike of independent paralegals, to be universally sanguine about the regulatory scheme that is being established as a model in Ontario.

It's not so much wrath as disappointment which has caused Professor James Grimmelmann of The Laboratorium to stop posting his research to the Social Science Research Network (SSRN) site:
It’s been okay, as far as it goes. The problem, though, is that surprisingly often, SSRN hasn’t gone far enough. Despite being a system supposedly designed to encourage the spread of scholarship, it has made a striking series of decisions that cut against open access.
Others shared Grimmelmann's concerns, including Professor Orin Kerr of the Volokh Conspiracy blog and Professor Daniel Solove of the Concurring Opinions blog. Kerr also wondered about the direction in which the site's heading, but said that he's "not quite ready to pull the plug and stop posting to SSRN"; Solove suggested that SSRN should focus its efforts on improving access and usability rather than "fun secondary vanity functions like counting downloads".



Terrace IV: Sloth (Acedia)

In the fourth terrace is a sort of spiritual fun run wherein slothful souls who are still early in their personal redemption are sprinted past by others who have reformed their slothfulness into zeal. The kind of laziness addressed in this terrace is not necessarily physical; rather, it is more often spiritual or intellectual laziness which is the focus here.

Evan Brown of the InternetCases.com blog noted an instance of sloppy lawyering on the parts of attorneys for AMF; as a result, the company came out on the short end of an Eighth Circuit decision concerning a pair of its contracts, one oral and one written.

Professor Jack Balkin of the Balkinization blog thinks that author Scott Turow was engaging in a bit of wishful thinking when he suggested that Justice Scalia will be a "wild card" vote for civil liberties in the War on Terror:
Would that it were so, but it is not likely. What Turow neglects-- and he is hardly alone-- is that the civil liberties issues raised in the war on terror do not primarily concern construction of the Bill of Rights. Rather, as the Hamdan case suggests, they involve questions of the separation of powers, the scope of Presidential power in wartime, and the President's (and Congress's) authority to regulate aliens.

. . . .

There may be some civil liberties issues in the future in which Scalia joins the liberals. I doubt, however, that many of them will be the key issues in the War on Terror.
Ted Frank of the PointOfLaw Forum blog thought that there was some lazy analysis in a recent New York Times article which reported that African-Americans do not rise through the ranks at law firms and make partner in similar percentages as whites. Frank noted that sub-par affirmative action hiring or racism within law firms are less likely causes for the statistical anomaly than greater opportunities for non-white associates in academia, government, and private industry:
I may be leaving someone out, but the last three African-American associates to leave my last law firm went on to bigger and better things . . . . None are going to be in the small fraction of people ten years out of law school who make partner at the highly-leveraged firm, which is what Sander measures, but none can be said to be lagging unless one incorrectly views law firm work as the pinnacle of the legal profession.

Was it lazy thinking or a cessation of thought which caused airline employees on a Vermont-originating flight to toss a passenger who was publicly breastfeeding her child, as was her right under Vermont law? A spokesperson for the airline initially indicated that it acted because the passenger, Emily Gillette, declined to cover herself with a blanket; the Vermont public breastfeeding law seems to favor Gillette, though, and the airline is backtracking. Gillette declined to cover herself, but most would agree that The Mommy Blawger has her covered, with three recent posts concerning her case; cynics might suggest, however, that she's just milking Gillette's story for all it's worth.

From Latin, "acedia" translates as an "absence of caring", probably making it an inapt description of Australians during the currently-underway Ashes test cricket series; music publisher EMI thought "copyright infringing" was a more appropriate label. Last week's Blawg Review host, Peter Black of the Freedom to Differ blog reported on the legal controversy which arose after a group of Australian cricket supporters rewrote notable songs to include cricketing themes. Black noted that the case was settled, but that it may still generate some support for ongoing copyright reform efforts.



Terrace V: Avarice and Prodigality

The fifth terrace is home to the avaricious (the greedy) and the prodigal (spendthrifts), who lie face-down upon the ground to atone for their excessive regard for earthly goods. Here, Dante and Virgil stop to pick up a hitchhiker, the Roman poet Statius (who has reformed his materialistic nature), as they keep on truckin' toward the Sixth Terrace.

Few fictional characters are so closely associated with greed as is Shylock, the moneylender in Shakespeare's Gay Boys in Bondage A Merchant of Venice. Professor Nate Oman of the Concurring Opinions blog determined the enforceability of Shylock's infamous loan to Ventian merchant Antonio under UCC Article 9 and concluded that "Despite the validity of Shylock's security interest in Antonio's flesh, however, he probably is not entitled to slice Antonio up." Oman's Concurring Opinions compatriot, Professor Dan Filler, suggested that we avoid the Shylocks of this world altogether and consider Costco for our discount "dirt nap"-related containment needs.

Professor Stephen Bainbridge, now appearing in triplicate, considered the agency implications of the Royal Navy's prize award practices during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and noted that, while such prizes might be counterproductive on their own, these should be considered as just one part of a more comprehensive compensation and incentive package during that period of British naval history. It's been said that there's no incentivization like self-incentivization (or at least it's been said now), so Bainbridge debuted Bain*Mart to move some product this holiday season.

Blogger Nearly Legal had some doubts about the long-term prospects of legal information in the free spaces of the internet:
The first doubt is how long the 'free' and widespread provision of information and commentary will remain such once its prospective monetisation (beyond google ads) becomes clear. The fusion of old media money and the bloggerati is already becoming clear in some fields (blog to newspaper comment column, blog to book) and, as a hierarchy of posters and commentators in law becomes clear, I would expect something of the same to happen - I can see hirings by big firms based on blog reputation being relatively commonplace a few years down the line, for instance....

Professor Orin Kerr wasn't buying a federal court ruling that designing currency without special accommodations for the visually impaired denies them meaningful access to the benefits of currency within the meaning of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Notwithstanding the professor's skepticism, if the court was correct in its assessment, would providing more meaningful access be more harmful than helpful to to the visually impaired? After all, if you have no meaningful access to the benefits of currency, it's much harder to end up in Purgatory's fifth terrace. Walter Olson of the Overlawyered blog updated his earlier post on the ruling by noting that the National Federation of the Blind has issued a press release sharply criticizing both the lawsuit and the decision.

Dan Hull of the What About Clients? blog offered his twelve rules of client service last April; this past week, he explained why those rules may not work:
Because people are selfish, and WAC?'s 12 Rules of True Client Service presupposes that people are not selfish--that you and your staff will put clients before yourselves and All Things other than blood, country, God, a job at the White House or a shot at Parker Posey.

The Wired GC discussed an interim report from the Committee on Capital Markets Regulation which warned that "excessive regulation and transactional costs are making U.S. companies less competitive in global capital markets."

Whether it's Sarbanes-Oxley or something else, if we stumble, economically-speaking, standing at the head of the line of nations waiting to eat our lunch is China. Dan Harris of the China Law Blog reported that, borrowing marketing guru Seth Godin's well-known observation, "Small is the new big in China too." As Harris put it, "Small businesses are booming in China and just as in the West, my sense is that they are oftentimes more dynamic, more nimble, more flexible, and faster growing than the large."

Finally, David Giacalone, this time writing at the f/k/a [formerly known as] blog, was not pleased by the misguided attempt of the Texas Bar to stage an appellate haiku contest. Actually, that's stating things far too mildly. Giacalone was so incensed by their "haiku" contest that he set aside both his longstanding antipathy toward theme-based Blawg Reviews and his disbelief in purgatory to write a lengthy diatribe late last Saturday, just in time for Blawg Review #86:
What are we to do, then, with this group of Appellate Lawyers who have so misinterpreted and misused the haiku concept, producing haiku abominations aplenty? Fundamentalist or fanatic lovers of “true” haiku might speak in terms of blasphemy and descecration. Imbued with the poetic muse, the f/k/a Gang is, of course, forgiving of human frailities and willing to assume good faith and potential for growth. So, we’re thinking that venial, not mortal, sins have been committed, meriting consignment to a ring of Haiku Purgatorio, and not the Inferno of Hell.

Colin Samuels is, naturally, our expert on Dantenian placement. If we had to pick a level of Haiku Purgatory for our Texan Appellate friends, we might go with Fifth Terrace — which, according to Wikipedia, is one of the levels for “those who sinned by loving good things, but loving them in a disordered way.”
It shall be so! Welcome to the Fifth Terrace, my Texan Appellate friends! Perhaps you would have been happier in Inferno, where barbeque is more plentiful, but here y'all are and here y'all will stay until you've atoned for your sins against "one-breath" poetry.



Terrace VI: Gluttony

In the sixth terrace, gluttons must abstain from tasting the fruit of a bountiful tree and from drinking from a stream of cool water.

Gluttons of the world unite (and form a study group)! Professor Ann Althouse reported that many of the same fine folks in academia who championed women's (or womyn's) studies, queer studies, disability studies, and ethnic studies as recognized disciplines are now backing "Fat Studies". In a follow-on post prompted by a post by Cathy Young of The Y Files, Althouse throws her support to "Drunk Studies" and suggested:
You could repackage all the vices. The first commenter over there brings up laziness -- sloth. I mean, why are we sinners persecuted so much? Prejudice! Convention!
Now there's a concept I can really get behind this week!

Ken Adams appreciated a favorable mention of his Manual of Style for Contract Drafting in a Business Lawyer article about the ABA Model Agreement but found that the article's comparison of the two document styles got things exactly wrong: "I couldn’t help noticing that the model agreement is, across the board, at odds with MSCD’s recommendations." Whereas Adams' MCSD describes contract drafting that is a model of efficiency, the ABA Model Agreement is a glutton, drafting-wise.



Terrace VII: Lust

In the seventh and final terrace of the mountain of Purgatory, those lustful souls who committed sins of sexual excess purify themselves by fire.

Sasha Volokh of the Volokh Conspiracy blog noted that at the Oxford English Dictionary website last Tuesday the word of the day was "bootylicious".

Professor Glenn Reynolds of the Instapundit blog did not appreciate the federal government's taxpayer-funded efforts to save Americans from an afterlife in the Seventh Terrace by extending an abstinence-promotion program to adults as old as 29.

Perhaps Big Brother wouldn't feel the need to protect us from ourselves lust-wise if we would all just do the sensible thing and supply our own counsel "when the time is right". Robert Ambrogi of the Law.com Legal Blog Watch site pointed us to a handy how-to video that's not to be missed.



Terrestrial Paradise

Finally, having ascended the mountain of Purgatory, Dante and Virgil enter a terrestrial paradise. As a pagan, Virgil is unable to proceed into Heaven and he takes his leave; Dante's guide from this point forward is Beatrice, the lady who had entreated Virgil to guide Dante thus far.

Dante maintained an unrealistic and unrequited (and probably unreciprocated) love for the real Beatrice throughout his life. Although both were Florentines, Dante and Beatrice met only infrequently; Dante himself described only two such encounters. Instead, she represented for him an idealized figure, devoid of human failings, and a personal savior. In his La Vita Nuova, he offered this description of Beatrice:
She has ineffable courtesy, is my beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation.
Italian is a wonderful, beautiful language in which Dante's writings established him as a poetic genius and a spiritual practitioner of the art of courtly love; in English, I suspect he would have just come off as a creepy stalker, but I digress.

Any "Second Life" residents who thought they'd found a lawyer-free paradise may be on the verge of a fall from grace. Brett Trout of Blawg IT wrote that the real-world stakes in that virtual world are now high enough to motivate lawyers and litigants. Will it be "game over" and an exit from virtual paradise? We'll soon find out. As if on cue, William Patry of The Patry Copyright Blog noted the upcoming appearance of Judge Richard Posner in "Second Life" on Thursday; Scott Henson of the Grits for Breakfast blog provided a somewhat disturbing picture of Posner's avatar.

Our terrestrial paradise is filled with virtuous folk this week, including Professor Peter Spiro of the Opinio Juris blog, who took a moment to highlight the launch of Professor Mary Dudziak's new legal history blog, the aptly-named Legal History Blog.

Professor Eugene Volokh of the Volokh Conspiracy blog and Professor Dan Filler offered advice to job-seeking law students. Volokh suggested that resumés benefit when references to one's knowledge of basic software -- like Microsoft Office, WordPerfect, Lexis, and Westlaw -- are left off. Filler tended to agree, but noted that there may be some exceptions (particularly regional ones) to that general rule; his advice was that each person "should revisit each line of her resumé to see if it adds value." David Lat of the Above the Law blog had a tip for those whose resumés have taken them to the interview stage -- take off your nose rings. Finally, Professor Lisa Fairfax of the Conglomerate blog offered guidance to anyone who listened to Volokh, Filler, and Lat, edited and enhanced their resumés, removed their piercings, and secured a place in academia, while Julie Fleming Brown of the Life at the Bar blog did the same for law students becoming -- gasp! -- lawyers.

Laura Wood of the PHOSITA blog suggested that any of Oprah's audience members who still have their $1,000 in "pay-it-forward" money, but have no idea how to spend it to do good works as their queen has ordered, should invest it in intellectual property. As Wood explained, "Intellectual property is the gift that keeps on giving sometimes 20 years (e.g. patent) and in other cases more than 70 years (e.g. trademark)."

Bruce MacEwen of the Adam Smith, Esq. blog highlighted a business book with staying power -- The Balanced Scorecard: Translating Strategy into Action. As MacEwen noted, "Intangible relationships, professional development and satisfaction, prestige and esteem, for example, are all genuine elements of a 'high-performance' firm." He recommended the approach outlined by the authors of The Balanced Scorecard to measure and maximize those often-overlooked success factors.

Having completed his journey to the peak of the mountain of Purgatory and all of the marks placed upon his forehead having been removed en route, Dante kneels to drink from two rivers which cause him to forget his past sins and renew his memories of his past achievements; these rivers are thus a poetic analog to those law partner war stories so familiar to many of Blawg Review's readers. A recent returnee to the legal blogosphere, William Dyer of BeldarBlog offered a war story of his own, but in a notable departure from the genre's norm, his story was interesting.

Purgatorio concludes:
Like gentle soul, that maketh no excuse,
But makes its own will of another's will
As soon as by a sign it is disclosed,

Even so, when she had taken hold of me,
The beautiful lady moved, and unto Statius
Said, in her womanly manner, "Come with him."

If, Reader, I possessed a longer space
For writing it, I yet would sing in part
Of the sweet draught that ne'er would satiate me;

But inasmuch as full are all the leaves
Made ready for this second canticle,
The curb of art no farther lets me go.

From the most holy water I returned
Regenerate, in the manner of new trees
That are renewed with a new foliage,

Pure and disposed to mount unto the stars.

Thus ends the eighty-sixth edition of Blawg Review.

As was the case in Blawg Review #35, the engravings which accompanied each of the sections of this week's issue are by Gustave Doré and are from the illustrated edition of The Divine Comedy published in the 19th Century. A larger version of each image is available by clicking on the image. The complete illustrated edition (translated by Henry Francis Cary) and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Translation (not illustrated), from which I quoted, are both available online through Project Gutenberg.

My thanks are gratefully offered to the Anonymous Editor for this opportunity to host Blawg Review for a second time. Thank you also to the many virtuous souls who suggested links for this post.

Blawg Review has information about next week's host and instructions how to get your blawg posts reviewed in upcoming issues.

01 December 2006

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (92)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Break.com (from Thursday, November 30; link good at time of posting):
Those religious nut bags at the Westboro Baptist Church were not welcome at this funeral for a soldier who died in Iraq. They are pretty much running for their lives and trying to drive away as fast as possible. This crowd would have torn them limb from limb. [Video]

[Previous TGIS]