My daughter started her swim lessons on Saturday, well-equipped with a new suit, cap, and goggles from Santa. (Note to self: research whether Santa's elves have committed trademark infringement by putting a Speedo logo on the products they've made in their workshop.)
Geared-up and waiting for her lesson to start, she was fussing with the cap and goggles and complaining generally about the slow start to her aquatic experience. At some point in her airing of grievances, I activated the parental hearing filter and responded, if at all, with an "uh-huh" here and there. Through the filter, however, I heard her becoming more and more insistent that she couldn't see well through her new goggles, which were "too blurry".
Finally, exasperated, I told her to look at me so that I could admonish her to stop her complaining. At that point I noticed, on each lens, protective stickers clearly marked "Remove Before Use".
I made a grand production of adjusting straps, lifting and replacing each lens, and peering intently at the goggles from every angle. Quietly, I removed the stickers.
"Yes! I can see everything now! How did you fix it?"
"Daddy's magic, sweetheart."