Project Valour-IT Update: Cash-n-Kerry!

Thanks to all of you who have expressed your support for the Project Valour-IT fundraising effort I mentioned yesterday! The Army team led by Blackfive has, at the time of this posting, raised nearly $8,000.00 toward their $45,000.00 objective; the four teams combined have raised more than $26,000.00 thus far.

Supporting the troops in his own inimitable way is erstwhile Presidential candidate John Kerry, who told a group of college students yesterday:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq."

For what it's worth, a commenter to Michelle Malkin's website noted that the officers and enlisted personnel in America's armed forces are, by and large, as well educated as or even better educated than the students at Pasadena City College whom Kerry addressed. Senator John McCain also criticized his current Senate and onetime Navy colleague:

Senator Kerry owes an apology to the many thousands of Americans serving in Iraq, who answered their country's call because they are patriots and not because of any deficiencies in their education.

Americans from all backgrounds, well off and less fortunate, with high school diplomas and graduate degrees, take seriously their duty to our country, and risk their lives today to defend the rest of us in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere.

They all deserve our respect and deepest gratitude for their service. The suggestion that only the least educated Americans would agree to serve in the military and fight in Iraq, is an insult to every soldier serving in combat, and should deeply offend any American with an ounce of appreciation for what they suffer and risk so that the rest of us can sleep more comfortably at night.

Without them, we wouldn't live in a country where people securely possess all their God-given rights, including the right to express insensitive, ill-considered and uninformed remarks.

Perhaps cheeky political blog Wonkette is onto the truth, though; their theory is that Kerry is a "GOP Secret Weapon":

The conservative faithful is roused. Tony Snow has a whole script prepared for today’s spoon-fed question about how John Kerry thinks the troops are morons, talk radio and blogs show the only enthusiasm they’ve managed in a month .... It’s like the White House is paying Kerry to be out in public screwing things up.

Wait a minute!

Fortunately, contributing to worthy causes like Project Valour-IT is not a partisan affair; you can support the troops the Soldiers' Angels way and still support the troops the John Kerry way (and we won't even question your patriotism or "Swift Boat" you)!

V for Valour

Since August 2005, those of you who visit Infamy or Praise have seen a link in the sidebar for Project Valour-IT, the effort by the Soldiers' Angels organization to supply voice recognition software and portable computers to armed forces personnel recovering from hand or arm injuries or amputations. Since the project's inception, the effort has supplied nearly six hundred voice-enabled laptops.

Blackfive and many others are now engaged in a good-natured(?) inter-branch rivalry fundraiser for Project Valour-IT. This competition is set to continue through Veterans' Day and already is responsible for more than $5,000 in donations. Although I grew up in an Air Force family, my sympathies are (and my college ROTC days were) with the Army; as such, I've joined Blackfive's Army fundraising team and will display their donations meter in the sidebar throughout this campaign.

Let's take this opportunity to repay some of the valor shown on our behalf with a bit of Valour of our own. Please pass the word and open your wallets for Project Valour-IT or one of the many other worthy ongoing efforts which Soldiers' Angels has organized.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Denise Howell!

Who cares if Halloween isn't until tomorrow? Today is Howell-o-ween! Denise Howell, contributor to the Between Lawyers group blog and ZDNet's Lawgarithms, hosts the eighty-first edition of Blawg Review at her personal blog, Bag and Baggage. Highlights in this week's issue include copyright piracy, strippers' remorse, and the oldest living Haaavaaad Laaaw graaad. Even my own efforts to write an extremely short story get a kind mention.

Next week, as Election Day approaches, Edward Still will host Blawg Review no. 82 at his VoteLaw blog. No matter who wins or loses, no matter what direction this country takes from then on, make sure you can self-righteously declare, "Don't blame me, I contributed to Blawg Review!"

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (87)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Monday, October 23; link good at time of posting):

Authorities say a would-be burglar's plot was foiled when he got stuck - naked - in the window of a house. The man was caught before he could take anything from an apartment he was allegedly trying to rob, Forrest City police said.

Dennis Reed Jr., 19, was arrested Saturday when police found him stuck between an air conditioning unit and a window frame of the apartment, police said. Reed was nude when police found him.

Reed told police that he was forced at gunpoint to break into the apartment by a subject he only knew by his first name.

[Previous TGIS]

Just think what Hemingway could have accomplished with three years of legal education!

In a recent Wired magazine feature, several noted authors were asked to write short stories -- very short stories -- of only six words apiece:

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Those authors produced some modern classics. Orson Scott Card demonstrated his mastery of the science fiction genre with "The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly." Margaret Atwood composed the definitive everywoman in six words: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit." David Brin offered the melancholy "Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love."

I was inspired.

Sure, I thought, Hemingway may have pioneered the genre and Wired's cadre of fiction authors may have advanced it, but who's more suited to writing the extreme short story than an attorney? After all, isn't legal writing renowned for its brevity? Since the odds were slender that, allowed only six words, I would either a) commit a costly copyright infringement or b) encounter a hopeless writers' block, I plunged ahead.

Perhaps because my professional life is so centered on the written word, I began the endeavor with a bit of hubris; I was much-chastened by the undeniable failure of my initial attempt:

WHEREAS, Colin Samuels (hereinafter "Author") will

I reflected on this unsuccessful effort and realized that I needed to move beyond my comfort zone and write a story that was less grounded in my legal education and experience as a transactional attorney. Unfortunately, however, the result was a soulless work which, while certainly reminiscent of many classic stories, lacked depth:

Once upon a time; The End.

In my next story, I resolved to take a page (well, less than a line, actually) from Grisham's book (any of them, since they're all the same) and capture the drama inherent in the practice of law:

Jockey's counsel submitted briefs; case dismissed.

Although this work was better, I was not entirely satisfied. I took stock of what I'd learned in my more than eight minutes of dedication to the craft of creative writing and created what is, I believe, my magnum opus. It is a somewhat autobiographical story which conveys its author's love of English literature and reverence for the law, but tempers the grandeur of those subjects with the pathos of his weakness for holiday baked goods:

Pound of flesh? Nominal damages, Fatso!

This is my gift to humanity, or at least to the portion thereof which reads English and is afflicted with ADD.

Random Thought (2)

For obvious reasons, "Football" is a more appropriate name for what Americans call "Soccer" than for what the English refer to as "American Football"; I think we Americans should simply accept this fact and henceforth refer to our game as "Cricket" to avoid any confusion.

[Previous Thought]

This is no way to treat our 51st state.

Wall Street Journal legal blogger Peter Lattman notes an unusual case wherein a convicted sex offender was allowed to avoid a one year prison sentence for his offense (which was committed in the United States), in exchange for his agreement not to return to the U.S. for three years. The offender is an American citizen married to a Canadian citizen and he maintains a home in Canada.

This "quite creative"alternative sentence, barring an American citizen from returning to American soil, is unprecedented and probably unenforceable:

"The real issue is whether it's legal or not," [immigration lawyer Robert] Kolken said from his home yesterday. "It's unheard of to bar a U.S. citizen from his country," Kolken said, wondering if it could be enforced.

Complicating the unusual plea bargain deal is Canada's potential response.

According to Citizen and Immigration spokesperson Edison Stewart, "Someone convicted of a serious offence would normally be barred from Canada. But every case must be examined as to the exact nature of the foreign conviction and its equivalency in Canadian law before a final determination is made by CBSA (Canadian Border Services Agency).

Canadian Border Services spokesperson Jean D'Amelio-Swyer told the Star she was not aware of Canadian pre-approval for the deal.

Lattman posed a few open questions about the case including the tongue-in-cheek "Would you rather spend a three years in Canada or one year in jail?" Regardless the outcome of the American and Canadian inquiries in this particular case, however, there are some larger issues to be considered.

If, in lieu of imprisoning our criminal offenders, we contrive to "exile" them to other countries, we are merely shifting the costs of imprisonment and risk of reoffense to the inhabitants of those countries; even if we somehow have a legal basis to do so, when a person commits a crime in the U.S., it is properly our responsibility to deal with that offender and, similarly, to live with the consequences of his acts and our responses thereto.

One function of imprisonment is to incapacitate the prisoner for some period of time -- a person who's sent away for some offense is not going to reoffend (against society, at least) until he is released. In this case, a criminal is allowed his freedom -- and freedom to reoffend -- so long as it's enjoyed anywhere but here. Essentially, an American judge has recklessly endangered Canadian citizens with only the most tenuous connection to an American whose crime was committed in the United States. Merely being the spouse of a Canadian citizen, what is this sex offender to his neighbors in Ontario -- a criminal-in-law?

Dumping one's trash in others' yards doesn't work on the neighborhood level; why then should we expect it to fly on the national level?

Next week, Gregg Easterbrook will list venereal diseases he likes better than Bill Parcells.

From today's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column:

[I]t's long been clear that Parcells is an egomaniac in both the casual and, perhaps, clinical senses of that word. Lately he's gone downhill to simply becoming a nasty person, spitting and snarling at everyone around him. What's Parcells going to do next, demand worship? When I look at Parcells, the phrase that comes to mind is "failed human being."

An English Twist on the "Dinner Train" Concept

English barbeque isn't noted for its quality, but at least it's included at no extra charge with your train fare:

[R]ail services near Tonbridge, Kent, were yesterday disrupted by "a smouldering badger on the line", the Daily Mirror reports.

Said disruption was not, however, on the same apocalyptic scale as that commonly caused by the wrong kind of leaves on the line, as watch manager Peter Brown explained: "Somebody had reported an electrical fire on the track at 8.30am. It [the badger] was on fire and every time a train came past it reignited.

"The flames would die down, but when another train passed the wind would cause the fire to start up again. I wasn't going to have trains stopped because the badger was already dead.

"We just told Network Rail there was a smouldering badger on the line. It didn't present a further danger."

Hey, Professor, did I miss anything?

Hmm. I see where Professor Kingsfield is hosting the eightieth edition of Blawg Review. Oh, it seems he posted yesterday and I was busy with other things. I wonder if I missed anything. No problem; I'll just catch up as we progress.

Let's see... placenta conversions, cat conflagrations, and class clowns. Cool. Old Kingsfield will never even know that I didn't prepare for his class.

Uh oh.

What's that, Professor? Why of course I did the reading, sir; I'm ashamed that you'd even suspect otherwise. I was just distracted for a moment by these capitalists over here.

Case of who versus what?

Let's see... the, um, defendant was accused of -- oh, right, this being a contracts case, I did mean "respondent" -- er, he allegedly failed to perform.... Excuse me, sir? He admitted his nonperformance? Well then, ipso facto, my point is that, um....

Do I have anything at all meaningful to contribute?

Well, uh, there was this guy on death row in Texas last week who committed suicide; his case was noted by both Ron Coleman and Scott Henson, but I don't think anyone in this class has mentioned it yet. The facts? Well, according to one report:

A Texas death row inmate killed himself on Thursday, leaving a message scrawled in his own blood, hours before he was to be executed for a 1995 murder, a Texas prison spokeswoman said.

Michael Johnson, 29, was found dead at 2:45 a.m. lying in a pool of blood after he used a makeshift metal blade to cut his jugular vein and an artery in his right arm....

They say that he wrote in capital letters, "I DIDN'T DO IT." What's that? Just like my class preparation? Ha, ha, good one, sir.

Coleman? Um, he said that it was pretty understandable that, guilty or innocent, someone facing an imminent execution would want to take control of his own destiny like this. He said that he didn't think Johnson's act "was honorable, meritorious or brave. In fact, it's a sin. But it is understandable."

Henson's thoughts? He focused on the decedent's suicide message and, uh, said that:

If true, this was an almost unfathomable tragedy. Johnson was scheduled to die at 6 a.m. this morning. He was 29 years old.

Another man, David Vest, originally confessed to the 1995 killing but later testified against Johnson in exchange for a lighter sentence. Johnson always contended the snitch was the real shooter. Mr. Vest has completed his 8-year prison sentence and is now free.

Sir? Yes, I did just read what he wrote word-for-word. Well, thank you! I think you have a lovely speaking voice also.

Come down to the front of the class? Um, OK.

You're giving me a dime? I'm not sure I understand, sir.

I should use it to call the Blawg Review Editor and explain that there is little chance of me becoming a legal blogger? Thank you, Professor, but I think Ed. already knows.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (86) . . . The Sequel!

This week's bonus joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Agence France-Presse (from Thursday, October 19; link good at time of posting):

British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen — savaged by the government of Kazakhstan for his bitingly satirical new film on the Central Asian state — might justifiably feel vindicated.

On Thursday it emerged that the incorrect spelling "bankh" appears instead of "bank" on the country's newly issued currency.

The error affects 80% of all new notes for 2,000- and 5,000-tenge — roughly the equivalent of $15 and $40, respectively. Because the mistake is so widespread, officials for the central bank decided to forego a mass recall and allowed the offending tender into circulation.

[Previous TGIS]

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (86)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Monday, October 16; link good at time of posting):

A Georgia man has been sentenced to take his wife and two children out to Christmas dinner at one of Atlanta’s most expensive restaurants.

A judge imposed the sentence on Wendell Rogers for ruining last Christmas by fighting with his wife in front of their children and trying to prevent her from calling for help.

In addition to the dinner, Rogers also was sentenced to 12 months in jail, with the time suspended while he takes an anger management course.

Rogers will have to submit a receipt to the court for dinner by January fifth.

[Previous TGIS]

Evan Schaeffer Throws the Book at Us

Legal blogging and podcasting pioneer Evan Schaeffer has authored a book entitled Deposition Checklists and Strategies, which will be available soon.

Schaeffer describes the volume as akin to a blog "that's updated every year, not every day"; it's like Infamy or Praise, in other words! Casting for the film version is reportedly underway, with Steve Buscemi already signed to play "Deposition Checklist", John Turturro as "Deposition Strategy", and Lindsay Lohan as "slutty girl who has nothing at all to do with depositions".

Another Memorable "I Have a 'Dream'" Speech

I doubt that casino mogul Steve Wynn wishes he had taken a page from my book and built his art collection around kindergarten crayon drawings, velvet portraits of Elvis, and prints of dogs playing poker. Still, after damaging the most valuable painting in the world, Picasso's Le Reve ("The Dream") during an overexuberant guided tour, Wynn might just concede that there's something to be said for klutz-proof and replaceable art:

Casino mogul Steve Wynn will keep and restore a Pablo Picasso painting that he accidentally damaged shortly after he had agreed to sell it for a record $139 million, an aide said Tuesday.

Wynn was showing the painting called "Le Reve," French for "The Dream," to guests in his office earlier this month at Wynn Las Vegas when he struck the painting with his right elbow, spokeswoman Denise Randazzo said.

. . . .

The 1932 painting was left with a silver dollar-sized hole torn in the canvas, according to an account by screenwriter Nora Ephron, who saw the mishap.

F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me." I don't think many would argue the point with him and, frankly, it'd be pointless to try, since he's been dead since 1940 and the very dead are different from you and me.

A more appropriate sentiment might be these words, spoken by a jaded detective played by Denis Leary in the very underrated remake of The Thomas Crown Affair: "If some Houdini wants to snatch a couple swirls of paint that are really only important to some very silly rich people, I don’t really give a damn."

I was once Mr. Universe, but it was in a parallel universe where pasty guys with no muscle tone were idolized.

When a typical Miss [Insert Geographic Location or Random Agricultural Product Here] contestant speaks of using her beauty pageant notoriety to work for social justice, I get the sense that she chose that answer only because it tested better than "I want to raise the public's awareness of [Insert Geographic Location or Random Agricultural Product Here] by posing for Playboy".

That's definitely not the case when it comes to this young Tibetan woman, who has survived Chinese prison to compete in the Miss Tibet pageant, now being held in India:

Three years ago, at the tender age of 17, Metok Lhazey sat in solitary confinement in a pitch dark, filthy and horribly cramped Chinese prison cell in the Tibetan capital Lhasa.

This weekend, the nervous 20-year-old is dreaming about being crowned Miss Tibet in a small but controversial beauty pageant held by Tibetan refugees in northern India.

"My main motive is to push the Tibetan cause all over the world, because I know what is going on in Tibet," she told Reuters in her hotel room as she prepared for the contest, plastic beads in her hair and blue bangles on her wrists.

. . . .

Lhazey first fled Tibet in 1999, making the grueling trek across the Himalayas near the route where at least one refugee girl was reportedly shot by Chinese border guards last month.

She returned to Lhasa when her father grew ill, but did not make it in time to see him before he died. Instead she says she spent three weeks in small jails at Chinese checkpoints on the road to Lhasa, often beaten as she was interrogated about her links to the government-in-exile in India.

Later she was jailed for more than a month in Lhasa before escaping again two years ago.

With her solid cheekbones and rosy cheeks she seems the most "Tibetan" of the girls. She is the only one who does not speak English, and the only one who has experienced what Tibetans call "the atrocities of Chinese rule" at first hand.

But this might not be enough to secure the title, against more polished entrants who grew up abroad and who knew better how to get a rowdy, mainly male audience on their sides.

Still, she says she is having the time of her life.

"When I was a child I learned so much about happiness and sadness," she said. "It is very important to experience everything. Today I am very happy."

Well, Austin, at least it's not nuclear war.

Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Powers: Excuse me?
Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

Yeah, baby! The legal blogosphere has more than its share of carnies this week and next.

Tech Law Advisor blog proprietor and Blawg Review carnival co-founder Kevin Heller hosts the seventy-ninth edition of Blawg Review. #79 is available in not one but two flavors -- a static version and a dynamic version (which uses those newfangled tags the kids all seem to love); highlights include a law professor's criteria for belief in the supernatural, a determination when birthday cards may be litigated, and the pros and cons of naked lawyering.

If you've been keeping score, you may have noted that the time between hosting gigs at the Tech Law Advisor has been steadily shrinking -- Heller hosted Blawg Reviews #12 and #58 in addition to this week's #79. At the current rate, he will be hosting Blawg Review each Monday by mid-2008 and will be producing a daily edition of the carnival by 2010. By 2011, he will be collecting worthy legal blogging posts before their authors conceive them.

The fun continues next week when Blawg Review's own Anonymous Editor hosts a combined edition of Blawg Review #80 and the Carnival of the Capitalists #158, for an unprecedented combined score of 238! Ed. has combined filthy lucre and filthy lawyers before, in last year's Blawg Review #29/Carnival of the Capitalists #107. Having already put together two of the far-left anti-globalization crowd's least-favorite topics twice before, perhaps Ed. will go for the trifecta next year and produce a combined edition of Blawg Review, Carnival of the Capitalists, and the Carnival of Patchouli Shortages?

UPDATE: Ed. writes to inform that his/her issue of Carnival of the Capitalists will be #159, making his/her total score 239 rather than 238. I suppose this explains why I've never been asked to host the Carnival of Basic Arithmetic.

Eight (or Nine) Attributes of a Go-To Lawyer

In its June 2006 issue, Corporate Counsel magazine defined a business' "go-to lawyer" as that attorney to whom executives, managers, and others turn to for legal advice because they want to work with the attorney and have confidence in his or her advice.

Daniel DiLucchio, the article's author, noted that "[g]o-to lawyers are not necessarily the deputy GC or managing counsel." Notwithstanding, the inherent value of go-to lawyers means that when these individuals are not at the top of the legal organizational tree, they are a good bet to reach the top someday.

The article identified eight attributes of a go-to lawyer:

1. Knows the law — Has a thorough grasp of the relevant laws and regulations for his industry and keeps up with new developments.
   


2. Excellent communicator — Knows how to explain the law and its implications to the client; has listening skills that are at least as good as his speaking and writing abilities.
   


3. Confident style — Can connect with the client, is respectful but not cowed; can win the client's confidence and become a member of the team.
   


4. Knowledge of the business — Able to identify the key strategic issues and use the law to help advance the business.
   


5. Excellent judgment — Can make the right call on issues based on past experience and an understanding of similar situations.
   


6. Willing to "put skin in the game" — Able to take a calculated risk with a client and communicate that he's standing behind him.
   


7. Good work ethic — At a minimum, works the same hours as the client; is available, responsive, and amenable to time frame and expectations.
   


8. Sense of urgency — Shares the client's need to move quickly in a highly competitive environment.
   

To this excellent list of eight points, I will humbly add a ninth: On top of things — Is not five months behind in professionally worthwhile but technically nonessential reading.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (85)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Tuesday, October 10; link good at time of posting):

A popular Italian satirical TV show has exposed what appears to be widespread drug use among the country's parliamentarians by secretly testing them for a number of illegal substances.

Of 50 lower house deputies who fell for the trick organized by the program Le Iene (the Hyenas), almost one third appeared to have taken drugs in the previous 36 hours, 12 of them testing positive for cannabis and four for cocaine, it said.

A reporter for the program, pretending to be an interviewer for a non-existent satellite TV show, approached the deputies for their views on the 2007 draft budget, while a bogus make-up artist dabbed their brow between filming.

The body cells collected by the dabbing were then tested for drugs.

. . . .

"Personally I don't appreciate this form of intrusion into people's private lives," Social Solidarity Minister Paolo Ferrero told the news agency ANSA. "But the test results seem to confirm what is widely believed about drug use on the part of many parliamentarians."

[Previous TGIS]

Molon labe!

Now available online is the trailer for the upcoming film adaptation of 300, Frank Miller's graphic novel about the Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae.

Wow. That's all. Just wow.

Asphalt spreaders? We don't need no stinking asphalt spreaders!

For most of us, potholes are an annoyance. For public works contractors, potholes are a lucrative business. For local politicians, potholes can make or break your career. Potholes are not a life-and-death matter, however... except in Mexico:

Four Mexicans were killed when a dispute between two Tzotzil Indian families over a pothole in the street escalated into a full-blown shootout.

One of the families closed off the cracked concrete and mud road in the town of Banelos in the poor southern state of Chiapas to fill in a hole left by heavy rain.

That angered a family with a transport business who needed to get their truck through, the Mexican daily Reforma said on Tuesday.

Insults led to blows and finally the two families shot at each other using various caliber guns and a hefty AR-15 rifle, Reforma said.

The win's a bit diminished when you face-plant during your victory lap.

Everything the White House does these days seems to prompt a chorus of critics to claim that the Bush Administration is incompetent. It's probably the predictability and ubiquity of those criticisms which makes them less persuasive to a large swath of the electorate. People know that even the least competent official does some things right and when critics loudly decry someone's every word or action, those critics lose credibility.

All that aside, an article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal (subscription required) makes me think twice about giving the Administration the benefit of the doubt:

The Labor Department released its September jobs report on Friday, and some wags are calling it the "whoops" report. The "whoops" is a reference to the upward revision of 810,000 previously undetected jobs that Labor now says were created in the U.S. economy in the 12 months through March 2006.

So instead of 5.8 million new jobs over the past three years, the U.S. economy has created 6.6 million. That's a lot more than a rounding error, more than the number of workers in the entire state of New Hampshire.

. . . .

Getting out of the statistical weeds, the news here is that the U.S. has a very tight labor market -- which is now translating into significant wage gains. Over the past 12 months wages have climbed by 4%, which is the biggest gain since 2001 and which economist Brian Wesbury points out is higher than the 3.3% average annual wage growth of the last 25 years.

Most of the media has ignored all this and instead focused on the disappointing 51,000 "new jobs" number from the establishment survey for September. But even in that survey, the jobs number for August was revised upward by 62,000 and the U.S. jobs machine continues to roll out an average of about 150,000 additional hires each month. Even the loss of residential construction jobs in September, due to the housing market slowdown, was nearly matched by payroll gains in commercial construction.

If you can't manage your successes properly, how can you be trusted to deal well with inevitable reverses?

By and large, we Americans have very low expectations for our political leaders. We expect that they'll concoct achievements where there are none and exaggerate their accomplishments; it's difficult to account for a politician who cannot recognize an achievement at all. For a presidential administration which has been dogged for years about the "jobless recovery" it's engineered, a failure to register, let alone trumpet, a significant turnaround in the national labor picture is well-nigh incomprehensible.

And bloggers in England now abed/ Shall think themselves accursed they were not in Blawg Review #78

More than a year after its inception, Blawg Review has finally arrived at the cradle of American law, Great Britain. Justin Patten, proprietor of the Human Law blog, hosts Blawg Review number seventy-eight and provides a British perspective on the best legal blogging from the past week or so. Highlights of this edition include coverage of patent ignorance in the European Parliament, ranting about pro-pedophilia blogs, and a plea for more legal blogging, to which my wife would like to offer a counterargument regarding this blog in particular.

As an Anglophile, I've looked forward to this week's issue for some time. I was born in Catterick in North Yorkshire, a village which is most notable of late for being the setting for the recent BBC "surreal road-trip comedy" Vic and Bob in Catterick, and which is under continuing attack from England's Second World War foes. Best of luck, chaps; enjoy this week's Blawg Review while you win the peace after WWII!

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (84)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Thursday, October 5; link good at time of posting):

A political party formed by Dutch pedophiles is unlikely to gather sufficient support to run in general elections next month.

The Brotherly Love, Freedom and Diversity party (PNVD) probably will not succeed in gathering the 570 signatures from supporters needed by October 10 to run in the national elections, the party's secretary Norbert de Jonge told Reuters.

The party was launched in May and its campaign for a cut in the age of consent from 16 to 12, and the legalization of child pornography and sex with animals has provoked widespread outrage within and outside the Netherlands.

The party managed to attract over 100 sympathizers on its Web site although several withdrew their support.

"They are afraid that their windows will be smashed, just as happened yesterday to our chairman," De Jonge said on Wednesday.

[Previous TGIS]

The best-laid plans of a criminal mastermind...

A week or so ago, I mentioned Bryan Wagner, a Colorado gentleman who heard through the grapevine that he might be caught up in the Hewlett-Packard investigation and sought to frustrate prosecutors by destroying his computer hard drive with a hammer. Well, it seems that our friend Bryan's foolproof plan has somehow gone awry; he was indicted this morning along with four other members of the HP fun bunch.

It's likely that the only person who will be harmed by his actions will be Wagner himself. The documents he accumulated over the course of his involvement in this ill-advised affair would have implicated him, but would have served to enhance his credibility and value as a state's witness (and thereby his leverage in negotiating a plea arrangement with prosecutors) as well. On balance, the evidence on that demolished hard drive would probably have proved more valuable than damaging to him.

Is it any worse than short odds that this too-clever sideliner will end up doing more time than both of the indicted HP bigwigs combined?

Random Thought (1)

If I ever gain control of a nation, as my national anthem I'm going to use the tune to "Teddy Bears' Picnic" but write some bloodthirsty nationalistic lyrics to go along with it.

Let's compromise... what about a formal press release to an operator-assisted blog?

Sun Microsystems' CEO (and blogger) Jonathan Schwartz and General Counsel (and blogger) Michael Dillon have formally proposed to SEC Chairman Christopher Cox that Reg FD should be changed to permit disclosures via corporate websites and blogs:

To date, the SEC has not taken the position that the Regulation's "widespread dissemination" requirement can be satisfied through disclosure through the web-postings alone. While that may have been a pragmatic approach in 2000, we believe that the proliferation of the Internet supports a new policy that online communications fully satisfy Regulation FD’s broad distribution requirement.

. . . .

In 2001, upon the one year anniversary of the effective date of Regulation FD, Commissioner Unger requested a study designed to assess the implementation of the regulation. (“Special Study, Regulation Fair Disclosure Revisited,” U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, December 2001, modified November 29, 2003.) Even then, the roundtable group recommended that “the Commission should embrace technology to expand opportunities for issuers to disseminate information online. The Commission should make clear that options such as adequately noticed website postings, fully accessible webcasts and electronic mail alerts would satisfy Regulation FD.” (Id.) The evolution of the Internet makes these recommendations even more compelling today.

Considering the regulation's objective -- to prevent selective disclosure of potentially valuable news and profiteering based on information asymmetry -- it seems a no-brainer to modify the rule to take advantage of the efficiency and reach of internet-based communications; Chairman Cox has consistently demonstrated that he's a big-brainer, so I'm hopeful that the proposal will be well-received at the Commission.

As Schwartz explains, the change "would permit our (and everyone else) using the internet (eg, a company blog or web site) to release material information. Without a press release or operator assisted conference call. We are, after all, the primary source of such material information - there's no point in going through an intermediary if what we're after is fair disclosure and full transparency." Kudos to Sun for taking the lead on an overdue rule change.

Belly Up to the Baristas

I deal with patents on a regular basis but am not an attorney admitted to the patent bar; I enjoy coffee but am more of a tea drinker these days; I am a legal blogger but I am neither informative nor entertaining. Despite the foregoing, Patent Baristas has long been one of my favorite legal blogs, owing to its hosts' informative and entertaining style. The baristas, Stephen Albainy-Jenei, Karlyn Schnapp, and Nicole Tepe, ably host this week's Blawg Review no. 77.

Highlights in this edition include discussions of the six metrics which all firms should track, the value of strong non-obviousness, and the inspiring commitment to total client service made by Anna Nicole Smith's attorney/baby-daddy.

One post conspicuous by its absence from the roundup is one from Wall Street Journal legal blogger Peter Lattman Latte-man. Latte-man noted last week that Starbucks faces an anti-trust suit "claiming the java giant engages in a range of anti-competitive practices, including entering exclusive lease agreements, buying out competitors, and, our personal favorite, the 'cluster bombing' of stores." I can only assume that the baristas chose not to include Latte-man's post as a gesture of professional courtesy towards Starbucks.

Next week, we travel to the land of the cricket tea interval when solicitor Justin Patten hosts Blawg Review at his Human Law blog.