Next Year's Field for "Scottish Politician of the Year" Narrows by One

A Member of the Scottish Parliament and the British House of Lords has been charged with arson after he torched the drapes in an Edinburgh hotel upon his return from a dinner presenting the "Scottish Politician of the Year". The Associated Press reports:

Lord Watson, a member of Prime Minister Tony Blair's Labour Party, denied two charges of intentionally setting a fire when he first appeared at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on Aug. 23.

. . . .

Watson is charged with deliberately setting fire to a curtain in the lobby of the Prestonfield House Hotel in the early hours of Nov. 12, shortly after he attended a dinner to announce the Scottish politician of the year.

The prosecution says the curtain, a curtain rail, walls and a ceiling were damaged and the lives of hotel guests were put in danger.

Watson is also charged with setting fire to a curtain in the hotel's Yellow Room, damaging the curtain and endangering the lives of hotel guests.

Bush Lied, Cajuns Died?

The Associated Press is reporting that, in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina (which was caused by global warming engineered by the Bush Administration), there are widespread power outages, several areas are without drinking water and are subject to martial law, dozens have been killed, institutions including hospitals and prisons are all-but-vacant following evacuations, and government officials have acknowledged that looting is widespread and taking place despite police presence.

President Bush and his neo-conservative cabal have failed to formulate a coherent plan to win the peace in the "Bayou Triangle" formed by the chaotic regions of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi. It was obviously a mistake to try to liberate Louisiana from the totalitarian clutches of Napoleon Bonaparte and it's painfully clear that we have no exit strategy from this Louisiana Quagmire. I plan to make this crisis all about myself by following Mr. Bush around the country until he meets with me to articulate a reason for our continuing presence in Louisiana and the Deep South.

Blawg Review 21: Our Baby's All Groweds-Up

Yes, Blawg Review has reached its 21st and the My Shingle blog is the guy behind the guy behind the guy. This issue is money. So, you're thinking, "how long should I wait until I read Blawg Review again?" Well, industry standard is two days, so call next week. A week from today, you can be sure that there will be a whole new bunch of beautiful babies lookin' to party. Review the submission guidelines and recommend an outstanding law-related post you see this week or perhaps one of your own worthies (but not that little bunny post, cowering in the corner of your blawg . . . go with the big bear post with claws and with fangs). The deadline for next Monday's issue is this coming Saturday evening. You're so money, baby.

Ain't Too Proud to Bleg for a Worthy Cause

For those who may not have yet heard of the group, Soldiers' Angels is a very worthy cause indeed. The foundation is dedicated to providing aid and comfort to military personnel and their families and "to ensuring that our military know they are loved and supported during and after their deployment into harm's way". From their website:

In the summer of 2003, [Sgt. Brandon Varn] wrote home expressing his concern that some soldiers did not receive any mail or support from home. Being a caring and loving mother, [his mother, Patti Patton-Bader,] decided not to allow a situation like that to continue. She contacted a few friends and extended family to ask if they would write to a soldier or two.

Within a few short months, The Soldiers' Angels Foundation went from a mother writing a few extra letters to an Internet Community with thousands of angels worldwide and growing stronger with the addition of new members daily. With more and more merchants donating services, money and items for packages, the Angels reorganized as a 501 c 3 non-profit so all donations would be tax deductible.

Soldiers' Angels currently supports thousands of American Service Members stationed wherever we raise our Country's Flag and the number is growing daily. We also work tirelessly supporting our Wounded Soldiers, with transitional backpacks, personal visits, phone calls, etc. Additionally, we send our thanks via letters and email to the military of Great Britain, Poland and Australia who serve by our soldiers side in Iraq.

The group supports a number of intiatives, including providing care packages and long-distance calling cards to deployed personnel, airline frequent-flyer miles to their families, and Kevlar-armored protection blankets to provide extra shielding for Humvees in combat zones.

Now, in addition to those and other projects, Soldiers' Angels has begun a new initiative -- Project Valour-IT:

provides voice-controlled software and laptop computers to wounded Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand and arm injuries or amputations at major military medical centers. Operating laptops by speaking into a microphone, our wounded heroes are able to send and receive messages from friends and loved ones, surf the 'Net, and communicate with buddies still in the field without having to press a key or move a mouse.

I have posted a donation link at the top of Infamy or Praise's sidebar; please join me in supporting Project Valour-IT and the many other outstanding Soldiers' Angels efforts.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (28)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Wednesday, August 24; link good at time of posting):

Border agents arrested a Malaysian man who tried to smuggle suspected pornographic video disks in his underwear into Singapore, the government said.

Officers did a full-body search of the man after he was allegedly caught with contraband cigarettes at a border crossing with Malaysia, the Immigrations and Customs Authority said on its Web site Wednesday.

While frisking the man, police found two video CDs and two DVDs lodged between his buttocks, the authority's Web site said. The Web site described the videos as "suspected to be uncensored and obscene."

. . . .

Singapore bans the sale and possession of pornography. Importing pornography carries a one-year prison sentence upon conviction for a first offense. Possession of pornography carries a six-month prison sentence upon conviction for a first offense.

[Previous TGIS]

All you do to me is (Google) Talk Talk

Google Talk is now available for download (and trademarking -- hello, Google?); as expected, use of the service requires a user account for Gmail (trademark application nos. 78,395,746 and 78,398,233, if you're keeping track). If you do not have an invitation to join Gmail, let me know; I (and most other users, probably) have 50 or so to pass around. You should be using Gmail anyhow, and this is a perfect opportunity to start if you haven't already.

UPDATE: Google-owned Blogger's profile function does not allow the selection of Google Talk as an IM contact choice (although competing services ICQ, AIM, Yahoo!, and MSN are supported); I'm not sure why this surprises me, considering that the words "Google", "blog", and "Blogger" are not recognized by Blogger's spell checker.

Second Verse, Same as the First?

Did they learn nothing from last month's highly-illuminating discussion between Evan Brown and myself concerning the lack of a "Windows Vista" trademark application by Microsoft? Amongst several others, the Wall Street Journal Online [$ubscription required] and MAKE:Blog report that Google will roll-out an IM service tomorrow; the service will be located at talk.google.com and will be driven by XML-based open source messaging software from Jabber.

I for one welcome our new instant messaging overlords, but humbly point out that they have apparently neglected, like Microsoft before them, to file a trademark registration for their new IM brand, which will presumably be some variant of "Talk" -- for instance, "Google Talk" or "Gtalk". A search of the Patent and Trademark Office's TESS trademark search system turns up 34 trademarks and applications, including both living and dead marks, but none are related to the new "Talk" service.

By the way, according to TESS, Microsoft now has five "Windows Vista" trademark applications pending; all were filed the same day Evan and I first posted our respective missives --we get results!

[Update]

DC Comics Denies the Obvious . . . Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

The Register reports that Batman and Robin have been outed (were they still "in"?):

DC Comics has taken exception to watercolours of Batman and Robin snogging and generally getting it on and has ordered the Kathleen Cullen Fine Arts gallery in New York to take down Mark Chamberlain's provocative representations or face the legal consequences.

Also at the receiving end of DC's wrath is art website Artnet . . . which carries some of the images. Artnet's 18 August [magazine] notes they have received a "cease & desist" letter similar to that slapped on gallery owner Kathleen Cullen for displaying "images of Batman and Robin exchanging a kiss, a watercolor titled Robin's Baby Pictures depicting the Boy Wonder's cute rear end, and a rendering of the Caped Crusader, sans shirt but otherwise in costume, striking a languorous pose".

Holy Stonewall, Batman! No word just yet on how this caped kerfuffle will resolve itself, but stay tuned to this same Bat Channel.

Doctor, I have this recurring dream where Mommy serves me Dos Equis.

Vell, haf you been comparing your SiteMeter reports to Instapundit's? Ah, yes -- a classic case of link envy, aggravated by the release of Blawg Review XX, courtesy of The Mommy Blawg.

Although it often seems that the study and practice of law bear little resemblance to reality, Mommy manages to filter this past week's best blawging through the warped prism of reality television. This week's edition proves that Mommy knows best -- it's a relaxing Love Cruise, with no posts deserving a trip to "Loser Island".

Can My Shingle top this? Tune in next week to find out. In the meantime, be sure to review the submission guidelines and recommend an outstanding law-related post you see this week or perhaps one of your own worthies; the deadline for next Monday's issue is this coming Saturday evening.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (27) . . . The Sequel!

This week's bonus joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of Reuters (from Thursday, August 18; link good at time of posting):

A Mexican citizen must forfeit about $2.75 million in Texas lottery winnings because of his drug-trafficking conviction, a federal appeals court said on Wednesday.

Jose Luis Betancourt, 52, was arrested after making a cocaine delivery shortly after accepting $5.5 million for having the winning ticket in the December 11, 2002, lottery drawing, according to court documents.

A jury convicted Betancourt, who was living in the border city of Brownsville, Texas, of conspiracy and two counts of possession with intent to distribute cocaine in May 2003 and also found he must forfeit his one-half interest in the lottery ticket.

. . . .

"Mr. Betancourt's luck ran out, and appropriately so," said U.S. Attorney Chuck Rosenberg.

[Previous TGIS]

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (27)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Tuesday, August 16; link good at time of posting):

Police say a man who broke into a car severed his left wrist on some shards of glass, then kicked in a door to the car owner's home and asked for help.

. . . .

[Avis] Pilcher said she awakened to screams for help about 12:35 a.m. Monday and that [Joseph] McQuade entered her room, blood shooting from his left wrist, a police report said.

McQuade was arrested on suspicion of burglary, breaking and entering a vehicle, breaking and entering an unoccupied structure and on other warrants. McQuade was taken to the hospital for treatment of his injuries.

[Previous TGIS]

Professional Schizophrenia

Evan Schaeffer posts this morning about the Swingline 390 Heavy-Duty Stapler, which he notes is capable of "powerful stapling of up to 160 pages. Added project efficiency. Full one-inch throat depth. Rubber feet. Adjustable paper guide. And an easy to use front-end jam-clearing mechanism."

As I pause to wipe the saliva from my keyboard, I see where The Greatest American Lawyer is pointing out the Home Office Lawyer blog, which offers a category of posts devoted to the pursuit of the paperless office. I'm so conflicted. As Queen so aptly expressed it, "I want it all and I want it now!"

Blawg Review 19: Chock Full o'Nuts? No, It's Just Venti-Sized Blawg Goodness

The nineteenth issue of Blawg Review is now available, courtesy of the Patent Baristas blog. The Baristas serve up an outstanding edition this week, but if you complete it and notice a slightly bitter aftertaste, that's probably just this blog's post from last week, "The Day the Legal Profession Begins to Fall Silent".

Next week's Blawg Review will be hosted by The Mommy Blawg. Review the submission guidelines and recommend an outstanding law-related post you see this week or perhaps one of your own worthies; the deadline for next Monday's issue is this coming Saturday evening -- if you're late, you're grounded.

You Say "Tomato" and I Say... Well, I Say "Tomato" Too, Actually

Regarding yesterday's polygamy post, a reader asked whether "bigamy" would be a better term to use than "polygamy"; specifically, he suggested that I should have said, "remember that infidelity is bad but bigamy is much, much worse". His argument is that, while both terms refer to a situation where a person is married to two or people simultaneously, polygamy is a marital status which may or may not be frowned-upon, depending on your legal system or culture; moreover, "polygamy" implies that the various partners in the relationship entered into the multiple union willingly. "Bigamy", on the other hand, refers only to an illegal multiple marriage and implies that at least some of the parties did not willingly enter the union.

I tend to disagree about his characterizations of the terms, but his discussion of their respective definitions is correct. "Polygamy" may or may not be objectively illegal (I'll avoid the subjective term "wrong" here), whereas "bigamy" is always, by definition, illegal. Still, I meant my point to be a broader one -- focused more on the interpersonal consequences for those involved than on the legal consequences for the bigamist husband in the real-life example. One item in the linked article, which I did not quote in my excerpt, might possibly have made that clearer: "He pleaded guilty July 19 to two charges of bigamy and was given a four-month suspended sentence and ordered to pay $126 in costs, police said."

My point, however, was not that he had committed a criminal act but that he had personally betrayed three women, who all, very unfortunately for him, learned of his betrayal at the same time. In other words, his $126 fine for bigamy is the least of his worries. The reader's argument may be a valid one -- bigamy might be a better term for this particular situation than polygamy -- but I think it's probably beside the point (or my point, at least).

I could be wrong, though; I'll make a mental note to ask my wives about it.

The Day the Legal Profession Begins to Fall Silent

According to Wired, researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have developed a "Jerk-o-Meter" which analyzes telephone voice inputs to determine if the caller is acting like a tool or if that caller is really engaged in the conversation at all:

The program, which [project leader Anmol] Madan said is nearing completion, uses mathematical algorithms to measure levels of stress and empathy in a person's voice. It also keeps track of how often someone is speaking.

"It's an academically proven thing," Madan said of the math behind those measurements. "There are a bunch of academic papers published about this."

For now, the Jerk-O-Meter is set up to monitor the user's end of the conversation. If his attention is straying, a message pops up on the phone that warns, "Don't be a jerk!" or "Be a little nicer now." A score closer to 100 percent would prompt, "Wow, you're a smooth talker."

However, the Jerk-O-Meter also could be set up to test the voice on the other end of the line. Then it could send the tester such reports as: "This person is acting like a jerk. Do you want to hang up?"

It's just a nascent technology, but it seems we're reaching a tipping point where lawyers' generally-repellent inter-personal communications skills can be objectively-measured across many media. Caller-side mobile phone conversations are the start; from here, it's both ends of mobile and landline calls, then realtime and recorded conversations. Analysis of written communications and e-mail is already possible, but is more content-based (and thus has more potential for improper intrusion upon privilege); still, the technology exists and could easily be indexed against the scales and factors used in this "Jerk-o-Meter" and related research.

Once something can be measured, it can be controlled, and professional and judicial willingness to control lawyer conduct and civility already exists, albeit only currently as wishy-washy professional standards and judicial guidelines. What's the line between zealousness and abusiveness? It's always been gray, but the dynamic may take on a new character once abusiveness can be objectively and reliably measured and recorded. Perhaps lawyers will adjust by relying more heavily on formal written communications and carefully-scripted personal ones.

Off-the-cuff, no-holds-barred phone calls and conferences may soon be a rarity for attorneys. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Fewer phone calls, more structured meetings, and more asynchronous written communications appeal to me personally. I'll lead the way by unplugging my phone right now!

UPDATE: Attorney-blogger Pejman Yousefzadeh has also noted the Jerk-o-Meter and is concerned that he might have to start feigning interest on a few calls.

UPDATE 2: An error in the placement of the editorial clarification in the article excerpt was corrected.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (26)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Monday, August 8; link good at time of posting):

A man with a knife tried unsuccessfully to rob two women, failed at breaking into an apartment, carjacked and crashed a vehicle and failed to get a woman to give him her toddler, authorities said.

. . . .

The crime spree began about 5:45 a.m. Sunday when a man attempted to rob two women at knife point in the parking lot of a convenience store, [South Salt Lake Police Capt. Tracy] Tingey said.

When the women got away without giving him any money, he ran to an apartment complex tried to break into an apartment.

When that failed, the man crossed the street and forced two people out of a Jeep at knife point. He took off in the vehicle but rolled it, suffering cuts and bruises.

He then entered an apartment complex, and attempted to break into several apartments, leaving bloody handprints on the doorknobs, Tingey said.

The assailant then kicked in the door of the Hernandez family.

. . . .

Melva Hernandez said she offered him money, but he refused and asked for [her 18-month old daughter].

"He looked at me and said, 'The baby,'" Melva Hernandez said. "That freaked me out. I said 'Uh-uh. You got to get through me.' "

When the man heard police cruisers approaching the apartment complex, he jumped out a bedroom window.

Police spotted [the man] and arrested him. He was transported to St. Mark's Hospital, where he was treated for his injuries. Tingey said he became agitated at the hospital and had to be sedated.

[Previous TGIS]

What's the Difference Between Intersection and Vivisection? Polygamy!

A decade or so ago, Intersection told a story of a philandering husband who is severely injured in an automobile accident; when his wife and mistress meet as he clings to his actual life, his proverbial double life falls apart. It was a terrible movie, but it stuck in my mind as an example of a lousy film with a great ending. Examples of the opposite situation -- great films with lousy endings -- are much easier to come by; The Abyss, with its Ed-Harris-saved-by-aquatic-aliens denouement and My Life, featuring Michael Keaton's brave final journey into a bank of Klieg lights, come to mind. This is almost certainly because only dimwits like myself actually sit through a lousy movie to discover the great ending.

Anyhow, since Intersection came out a dog's lifetime ago and I only saw it once, I don't even clearly remember the ending I thought was so great at the time. I seem to recall that the wife, played by the usually-awful Sharon Stone, and the mistress, played by the always-awful Lolita Davidovich (Remember her? I didn't think so -- here's a link) reconciled their situation between themselves to protect the reputation of the cheating husband, played by the only-awful-in-real-life Richard Gere. My memory is that it was the writing and execution of the ending that was so wonderful, rather than its premise, which stretched credulity to its breaking point.

Yes, albeit extraordinarily unlikely, it seemed possible that a complete bastard cheating on his cold fish wife with the town bicycle could be so loved by said fish and said bicycle that they would selflessly endeavor to preserve his for-some-reason pristine personal reputation. Three key facts made the Intersection scenario seem remotely plausible:

1. Ever since he laid out his Armanis in American Gigolo, Richard Gere can do anything on screen, including ruling Israel, and make it seem remotely plausible.
2. Gere's character had the courtesy to drop dead at the end of the film. (Sorry if that ruined the movie for you; you wouldn't want to waste a Netflix selection on it, believe me.)
3. The Intersection philanderer had the good sense not to simultaneously marry all the women he was sleeping with.

So, if you're thinking of getting a little piece of chicken on the side, what is your take-away from this? Well, first accept the fact that you're not Richard Gere and that it will not work out as well for you as it does for him -- ever -- in anything. Secondly, if you're not planning to take a dirt nap before the poop hits the fan, remember that infidelity is bad but polygamy is much, much worse -- even in Utah, as Fletch would say. Case in point:

Some people bring flowers, others bring balloons. When Melvyn Reed's three wives showed up to visit him at the hospital, they brought an unexpected curtain call to his years as a double bigamist.

British police confirmed that after Melvyn Reed woke from his triple bypass heart operation earlier this year, his complicated marital affairs took a turn for a worse. All three of his spouses had turned up at the same time, despite his efforts to stagger their visits.

Media reports say that, upon realizing that something was amiss, the wives held a meeting in the parking lot, and learned that they were all married to the same man.

. . . .

The Metropolitan Police said Reed married his first wife, Jean Grafton, in 1966, then left her without divorcing her. He went on to marry Denise Harrington in 1998, then married Lyndsey Hutchinson in 2003.

British media have widely reported that Reed recently moved back in with his first wife, Grafton. They say she is the mother of his three grown children.

I'm predicting that his recent triple bypass won't be the last time Melvyn finds himself lying somewhere gutted like a trout while someone looks for one of his vital organs. When a wife discovers she's been betrayed by her husband, the odds that that husband will get away without grievous injury or serious misery are quite small; betraying three wives simultaneously cuts those odds somewhat.

So, let's review -- what were Melvyn's mistakes?

1. Melvyn is not Richard Gere. Don't feel bad, Melvyn, no one is really Richard Gere; even Richard Gere probably doesn't seem like Richard Gere in person.
2. Melvyn survived his triple bypass. Next time, he gets no anesthesia.
3. Melvyn was the marryin' kind. Marriage is "until death parts us"; thus, three marriages means Melvyn's death will part him three ways.

It's tough but fair, Melvyn.

[Update]

Specks of Gold Found in Mining the Traffic Reports

I sometimes wonder which is my greater enjoyment -- writing this blog or looking through the Site Meter traffic reports which measure it.

My daily readership is generally low enough that my vanity is ill-served by the raw numbers -- totals of vistors by the week, the day, and the hour, visits categorized by referral source and by visitor details, pages listed in order of popularity, depth of reading by hour of the day, and so on. Instead, I get more geeked when I find the weird stuff -- like discovering that, on average, a greater percentage of my readers are located in Western Europe than in the Mountain Time Zone -- or learn about something which I otherwise would not.

Amongst the myriad data which Site Meter tracks is each visitor's web browser usage. Typically, it breaks down something like this: 55% Microsoft Internet Explorer (all versions); 35% Mozilla Firefox (including all versions of the related Mozilla and Netscape browsers); 7% Apple Safari; 2% Opera (all versions); and the remainder designated as a mysterious "Other". It looks like Site Meter has augmented its detection capabilities recently, as this morning's browser share graph showed this:
"Other" revealed at last!

"What the heck," I thought (I don't mind swearing loudly around other people, but I'm easily offended by my own thoughts). "What are 'iCab 2.x' and 'OmniWeb 125.x' and why has it taken the OmniWeb people 125 tries to get it right?"

After some quick Googling (note to self -- must compose "I Heart Google" haiku at earliest opportunity), I found that both iCab and OmniWeb are alternative browsers for the Macintosh OS. iCab is developed in Germany (volksbrauser, anyone?) and claims that it offers "10 features, that you don't find in other browsers". OmniWeb (current version is 5, not 125, by the way) positions itself as an improvement over the Safari browser, much as Opera and Firefox compare themselves to the weak-sister Internet Explorer. As I'm not a Mac guy, I've never seen, much less used, Safari; I can't say whether these claimed improvements in OmniWeb are valid or not.

As a Firefox user, however, I can say that, at least as to the features I saw described, Firefox does it all, albeit with an additional extension or two. Tabs? Got it. "Shortcuts to any searchable website"? Got it. RSS feed-handling? Got it. Session saving? Got it with the SessionSaver extension and its SnapBack Tab function. Easy bookmark editing? Got it with the Flat Bookmark Editing extension. $29.95 price tag for OmniWeb (or 29 Euros for iCab)? Nope! (and Nein!)

I tell everyone I meet to get Firefox. I'm pleased to meet you; now go get it.

Now If I Could Only Find My Marbles

The anonymous and always enigmatic Blawg Review Editor has established a Blawg Review Guest Map. Blawgers, join me and identify yourselves so that when it comes time for the shystercidal mobs to "kill all the lawyers", at least they will not waste precious non-renewable fossil fuels by driving around aimlessly looking for us.

Usually It's Just the French They Roll Over Like This

Reuters reports:

A 75-year-old German was so shocked he had accidentally run down his wife he started forward and drove over her again, authorities said Wednesday.

Police in the western town of Bad Nauheim said the man compounded his 73-year-old wife's misery after an onlooker told him he had just run her over while backing out of a parking space. The woman was rushed to hospital and survived.

The elderly gentleman was not quoted in the brief article, but, with Google's assistance, I'll hazard a guess as to his initial comments to investigators: "Es ist eine bloße Übereinstimmung, daß ich ihre Lebensversicherung letzte Woche verdoppelte." ("It is a mere coincidence that I doubled her life insurance last week.")

I Heart TMQ

Lo! Gregg Easterbrook
Heralds the cheer babes' return
Oh, and football too

Welcome back, Tuesday Morning Quarterback.

Mea Culpa

A frequent correspondent has suggested that I may have offended a number of individuals with today's various rants; she has further inquired whether I am in a bad mood or whether I am just a giant a-hole. As her two options are not mutually-exclusive and I am, in fact, capable of multi-tasking, the correct answer is "both". On my way home, however, during my XM wanderings, I chanced across a tune by the Japanese pop duo PuffyAmiYumi; I didn't understand a single word, but I'm just so gosh-darned happy now that I feel the need to make amends. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to the following people whom I may have unintentionally offended today:

• Fans of Japanese Monster Movies
  
• Handicapped Persons
• Athletic Homosexuals
• Victims and Survivors of Nuclear Bombings
• Competitive Chess Players
  
• Deceased Members of the Japanese Parliament
  
• The Homeless

I intended to offend, and remain unapologetic for any offense taken by, the following persons today:

• Diego Maradona
• The French
• Members of the 2004 United States Men's Olympic Basketball Team

I had intended to offend the following persons today, but have inexcusably failed to do so:

• Environmental Activists
• DaVinci Code Conspirists
• Living Members of the Japanese Parliament
• French-Canadians

Have a nice day.

It is well that eBay is so terrible, lest we should grow too fond of it.

The Associated Press reports that a blood-stained bandage which was used to treat General Ariel Sharon during the 1973 Yom Kippur War is now being offered for sale on eBay:

The bloodstained bandage that wrapped Ariel Sharon's head after he was injured in fighting during the 1973 Middle East War has been offered for sale on eBay with the bidding starting at $10,000.

Sharon, the current prime minister, was a top general on the Egyptian front during the war. He was wounded when his armored vehicle was damaged by Egyptian forces at the Suez Canal, and pictures of Sharon meeting with officials and planning strategy with his head bandaged were among the most widely circulated images of the war.

The seller, who refused to be publicly identified, said he was the son of an army medic who treated Sharon's wound. The medic kept the bloodstained bandage when he put a fresh one on Sharon's head, the seller said in a message on the internet auction site.

Next up on eBay: a pair of stained French Army-issued underpants, circa 1940.

Going the Distance

There seems to be an Olympics-style event for pretty much everyone these days. There are the Paralympics for the differently-abled, unless your different ability is lack of hearing, in which case you want the Deaflympics. Oh, sorry. I SAID YOU WANT THE DEAFLYMPICS. The Chess Olympiad is for folks who can't get a date; the Gay Games are for folks who can. The Special Olympics are for athletes with intellectual disabilities, who take the inspirational pledge to, "Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt." Despite these high ideals, however, some events have been marred by controversy. If you can't qualify for any of these, there's even an Olympics for you.

Still, as in so many other areas of our society, the homeless have been largely overlooked here. Sure, there's a Homeless World Cup (note to self -- find out whether the Argentinians cheat like bastards in that World Cup as well), but there is as yet no Homeless Olympics. Well, if what I saw this afternoon is any indication, there should be. When I ducked out for a late lunch, there was a Wal-Mart shopping cart nearby; the closest Wal-Mart is nearly two miles away as the crow flies and two freeway exits down, and if it didn't come from that one, we're talking marathon distances. Whoever pushed that cart all this way has the stamina and determination of an Olympian and deserves some sort of medal; more so than these clowns, at any rate.

Japan Postscripts

Last week, it was expected that after a contentious passage through the lower house of the Japanese parliament, Prime Minister Koizumi's reform of the Godzilla-like Japanese postal system would pass more easily through the upper house this week. Instead, an unexpected political coalition with the minority Mothra, Minilla, Gigan, Ghidorah, Megaguirus, Smog Monster, and Mechagodzilla parties was enough to save the beast, at least for now. On a related note, Raymond Burr Slate's Explainer has clarified how Japan Post became so large in the first place.

Actually, according to the Wall Street Journal this morning, the failure of the reform was due more to a split within the governing Liberal Democratic Party than to any other factor. As promised, Koizumi has put into motion the threatened "suicide bomb dissolution", a political maneuver to force elections within the next several weeks which will probably remove Koizumi and/or his renegade LDPers from office.

It's surely unfortunate that the so-called "suicide bomb" has been dropped after all, and especially ironic that it happened between the sixtieth anniversary commemorations of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. Now it seems that my harsh assessment of that Japanese MP who committed suicide in despair over his vote last week was, perhaps, a bit off-the-mark. Apparently, he was not some overwrought, misguided soul, but was instead a political visionary and a man ahead of his time (by a few days, at least). With that kind of political foresight, he should run for the party leadership post in the upcoming elections. Wait, scratch that; now that I stop to think about it, he was probably just a one-trick pony after all.

18 and Barely Legal

The eighteenth issue of Blawg Review is now available, courtesy of The Common Scold blog. Monica Bay, proprietor of The Common Scold, gives us a baseball-themed Blawg Review this week, including posts from dozens of legal blogs; it would have been more, but several tested positive for blog-enhancing steroids. Nevertheless, be sure to step up to the plate before Saturday evening with your best law-related posts and take a hack at making next Monday's issue.

By the way, no, I can't claim credit for that fine headline; it was left on my doorstep by blog elves. Actually, it was suggested by a blogging colleague who wishes to remain anonymous, over 18, and fully-legal, but just thinking of blog elves brings a smile to my face on a Monday morning.

TGIS: Thank God It's Schadenfreude! (25)

This week's joy in the misfortune of others comes courtesy of the Associated Press (from Monday, Auguist 1; link good at time of posting):

A Kansas teenager has been sentenced to clean up vomit in police cars.

But officers in Johnson County aren't sure how they'll carry out the sentence. The 17-year-old boy was convicted of vomiting on his Spanish teacher on purpose. A judge ordered the teen to perform clean-up duty for four months anytime someone gets sick in a patrol car.

But police in Overland Park note they often have a biohazard company clean up vomit, if there's a possibility of disease. Overland Park police spokesman Jim Weaver wants to know if they're going to have to give the kid a biohazard suit.

But local police officials say they'll work with the county court in making sure the sentence is carried out in an appropriate manner.

[Previous TGIS]

I Killed a Man Just to Watch Him Die. Oh Wait, That Never Happened.

There's a book out these days titled He's Just Not That Into You. According to the editorial reviews on Amazon, the authors explain that men give mixed messages to the women they're with and advise women how to spot those telltale actions that men use to demonstrate that they are "just not into you". Perhaps "he falsely claims to have killed a hitchhiker and buried the body in the woods just to persuade you to leave him" will be included in He's Just Not That Into You, Volume II. From the Associated Press:

A man made up a story about killing a hitchhiker and burying the body in the woods in an effort to persuade his wife to leave him, authorities said.

Teddy Claire Akin, 28, of Ocala, was charged Tuesday with making a false report and petit theft. He was being held without bail.

Akin's wife, Felicia, called the Marion County Sheriff's Office Monday to report that her husband had told her that he killed a hitchhiker, authorities said.

Akin told investigators he had picked up the hitchhiker, who wanted a ride to Tampa. He said he hit the man in the neck, causing him to gasp and make a gurgling sound, when the two got into an argument over how far Akin would drive him, authorities said.

Akin said he dumped the body in a forest near a gun range and kept the man's wallet, which contained the license of Utah resident Dennis Legrande Allen, authorities said.

Deputies searching the area Akin described with dogs and an air unit failed to find a body Monday evening, Capt. Thomas Bibb said.

Akin eventually told investigators that he was going through a divorce and had hoped the murder story would make his wife leave him, said Sue Livoti, a sheriff's office spokeswoman.

Wait a Minute, Mr. Shuuhaijin

We Americans rightly mock and belittle our postal "service", but the Japanese take their post office very seriously -- perhaps a bit too seriously in at least one recent instance.

By way of explanation, it should be noted that Japan's post office is a markedly different animal than its American counterpart. In the United States, the post office is many things -- a network for interpersonal communication (although e-mail is better) and package distribution (although FedEx and UPS are better), a public space for communicating information concerning criminal activity (although "America's Most Wanted" is better) and taxation policy (although irs.gov and TurboTax are better), and a means of permanent employment for thousands of angry loners and social misfits (although euthanasia is better). In Japan, for reasons I don't entirely understand, the post office handles not only mail delivery but also commercial banking and insurance. According to the Wall Street Journal, personal savings accounts and life insurance programs administered by the post office comprise a quarter of Japan's $14 trillion in personal financial assets. Largely because substantial portions of these post office-held assets are invested, somewhat inefficiently, in government securities and because the post office itself is subject to governmental manipulation, these assets have enabled pork-barrel (sushi-barrel?) spending by Japanese politicians.

Prime Minister Koizumi has undertaken a massive reform of Japan Post, proposing to split the agency into three separate businesses -- one will handle mail delivery, another will handle banking services, and the third will handle insurance. It's my impression that the political scale of this reform would be approximately that of the contemplated Social Security reforms currently being discussed over here. Certainly, the stakes in the Japan Post overhaul are quite high for many concerned -- politicians don't want to lose their source of financing for pet projects, post office workers don't want to jeopardize their sweetheart employment deals, and others have vested interests in the status quo. Nevertheless, Koizumi has made this reform a centerpiece of his administration, and it looks likely to succeed at this point -- it was passed by the more-powerful lower house of the Japanese parliament by a narrow margin and passage by the upper house is expected shortly.

During the fierce battle over the measure, Koizumi had threatened to call a general election if the reform was not passed. It was expected that such an election would result in a loss of political power by Koizumi's ruling LDP party generally and by opposition LDP members and Koizumi himself specifically; for this reason, Koizumi's threat had been termed the "suicide bomb dissolution". The "bomb" will likely not be used, but it seems at least one LDP legislator either didn't get the message or took post office reform a bit too personally. As first mentioned by Chrenkoff, Agence France-Presse reports that:

A RULING party MP who once headed Japan's world trade negotiations hanged himself overnight, prompting speculation he was troubled after switching sides in a high-stakes vote on the post office.

Yoji Nagaoka, 54, a former elite bureaucrat who was in his second term in parliament, committed suicide at his home in Tokyo, a police official said.

Nagaoka was part of a faction of the ruling Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) opposed to Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi and his plan to break up the post office. But he voted in favour of the reforms when they passed the 480 member lower house by a mere five votes on July 5.

The Mainichi Shimbun newspaper, quoting unnamed people close to Nagaoka, said he had been troubled over what side to take on postal reform.

Koizumi's opponents immediately said the LDP had put too much pressure on MPs over postal reform. Koizumi has threatened a new election if the proposal fails in the upper house which is due to vote by August 13.

"He must have been distressed about how he was forced to change his political beliefs due to pressure from the LDP executives," said senior LDP parliamentarian Takeo Hiranuma, seen as an aspirant to succeed Koizumi, as quoted by Jiji Press.

Shizuka Kamei, head of the LDP faction to which Nagaoka belonged, said the party leadership was too aggressive. "Executives should not go so far."

Jiji Press said Nagaoka hanged himself with a necktie from the handrail of the stairs at his home and did not leave a suicide note.

Koizumi told reporters he was surprised by Nagaoka's death.

"I regret this, though I don't know what the reason for it was," he said.

Call it a Japan Post-mortem, I suppose. Chrenkoff summed it up well -- "Today's discussion topic: are Japanese politicians taking things too seriously? Or the American politicians not seriously enough?"

I Saw Her Blawging There

Well, it's just Blawg Review seventeen/
and thanks to the Greatest American Lawyer blog/
it's way beyond compare.
[*Yeah*]

Well, my heart went "boom" when I executed my HTTP request/
and this issue displayed on my monitor/
and before too long, you'll fall in love as well.
[*Woo*]

You can dance with another issue next week/
until then, if you see or write a worthy law-related post/
review the guidelines and make your recommendations.
[*Yeah*]